Hope & Glory

Chapter One

Shock

Hope willed herself to hold back the tears.  She was tired of crying, her eyes feeling sore and dry and her head ached from little to no sleep.  She walked slowly out of the tube station, her heart racing a million miles per hour.  How was she going to cope today?  She wanted to curl up and die, that's how bad it was.  She looked straight ahead of her, the busy junction she had to bypass to get to the other side where her job as an administrator was located.  All she saw was that incident.  It played over and over in her mind, scarring her.  She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream and above all she wanted to beg him to choose her.  How could he?  Saturday had been the shock of a lifetime and Sunday was made worse knowing her relationship and her life with the man she thought she would marry and spend the rest of her life with,  was well and truly ca put.  She rubbed her forehead and winced.  She just noticed the sun was out and it was warm, even though she felt cold and empty.  Hope had slept passed the alarm this morning,  she'd forgotten her oyster card and had to buy a paper ticket and that was the first of many problems.  And she didn't want to even contemplate the rest.   At this point, it was all still a shock.   She wanted to at least make it through the day and go home and try to make some semblance of her shattered existence.  

Hope's first mistake was stepping onto the road.  She felt like a zombie or was it a puppet.  She was being strung along and had been for however long it had been for an affair to take place.   Oblivious to the oncoming traffic and the sounds of horns honking.  Her feet carried herself across the junction and as she reached the middle of the street to look up, she froze - on the spot.  The horror of the driver's face was clear to see because the lorry he was driving was coming towards her, she prepared for impact.  Hoping it would end her misery.  She closed her eyes, expecting this.  Gearing for pain,  she felt the air leave her lungs as she hit the curb of the pavement with a thud instead.

     "Have you got a fucking death wish or something?" an Irish accent filled her senses. 

She opened her eyes to see a pair of brown eyes staring right back at her.

     "You could have fucking died?  What's the matter with you?  Didn't you hear them horns?"  He stared at her, the glare of hatred emanating from his eyes.  

Hope tried to sit up but she winced, her side was throbbing from the impact of hitting the pavement or the guy lying on top of her.  She pushed him off her and that mere movement made her side burn.

     "What's the matter, ain't you got a tongue?" he said, now on his knees.

Hope retrieved her things, scattered on the pavement around her.  Her manager was going to kill her for being late, she didn't even want to know what the time was.  At this rate, if she made it into work at all, she was going to suffer the wrath of her manager, that was for sure.  She wanted a new job, she just didn't fit in at work.  At this rate, she was ready to move country if she could.   Knowing that Tony had slept with her best friend in their bed, had tainted everything she held sacred.  She no longer wanted to stay there...

     "I'm talking to you," Irish said, "Are you paying attention?  Are you on drugs or something?" 

     Hope got up slowly, not considering answering his questions and limped towards work. 

     "Are you a bleedin' idiot or something?" Irish exclaimed, as he grabbed a hold of Hope's arm and spun her around to face him, "I don't like to talk to someones back, especially as I saved your arse from a collision!"

     Hope looked at his bare arm, it was muscular with a dusting of hair and his rolled up sleeves and the expression of annoyance written all over his face.  Was it annoyance or just plain anger, she couldn't decipher but she didn't have the energy.
     He shrugged her, shaking her like a rag doll.  The motion rattling her insides and causing commotion in her head.  She tried to open her eyes but everything suddenly became hazy and did she see stars?  The numbness in her fingers felt like she'd been sitting on them, a pins 'n' needles sensation spreading from her fingers shooting down her arms and then she saw black. 

      

Amber's Advocate

Epilogue

A Perfect Fit

     Amber stared at the stick in her trembling hands, her heart in her mouth, her mouth as dry as sawdust.  She blinked and stared back at the two prominent stripes on the pregnancy test... she was pregnant.  Pregnant.  How could this be?  Of course, she knew about the birds and the bees... she knew how women got pregnant, a giggle suddenly erupting from her lips and shook her head in disbelief.  She couldn't believe it, her legs wobbled and she sat down on the toilet seat, stick in one hand whilst the other clasped her head.  

      "What's that?" Cade said leaning against the door frame. Her kind wonderful Cade- the man who had rescued her seven months ago and who had persuaded her to move into his apartment as soon as they got back to London.  Worry now etched his face.  He strode over to her and took her face in his hands, "What's the matter Amber?  Is something wrong?" He whispered, his hands caressing her face as if that would somehow magically produce an answer. 

       "I'm pregnant Cade, I'm pregnant," Amber whispered. 

       Cade closed his eyes and Amber's heart sank, he didn't want it... he didn't want the baby.  The tears, she was trying to fight back, now prickling her eyes.  She squeezed her eyes shut, before they could escape. 

       "That's the best news I've heard since you said you would move in with me Amber, the best news.  I'm going to be a dad... hey hey..." he lifted her chin to look at her shut eyes, misinterpreting her feelings, "I won't do anything to hurt you... I would never do anything to you or our baby, I love you... you have to believe me Amber." 

         Amber laughed and shook her head, "No, I wasn't thinking that at all... I just didn't know whether you wanted a baby at all." 

          "Oh honey, I want as many babies with you as possible... I love you so much, you are the best thing in my life..." he got up, kissed her and said, "Stay here one moment, okay?  I'll be two secs." 

        Amber looked up in confusion, but the feeling didn't last as Cade was back and this time on bended knees, a velvet box in his hands, "What are you doing?" 

          Cade laughed, "Not the kind of thing a guy wants to hear when he's about to propose to his beautiful girlfriend but hey, there's a first for everything." 

           "You're going to propose?" Amber said in shock. 

           "I had this monologue planned but I can't remember it, sometimes I forget things when you're staring at me like that but you have to know Amber, that I will do everything in my power to make you the happiest woman that ever lived.  To me, you're my everything and please be my wife. I want to take care of you and  our child you're carrying. Say yes." 

           "No," Amber said. 

           Cade shook his head, "I understand, it's too early to ask." 

           Amber giggled and leaned forward and kissed him, "No silly... what I meant to say was yes... yes I'll marry you... of course..." 

           Cade exhaled and kissed her. 

           "Can I see the ring?" Amber asked. 

           Cade smiled and opened the velvet box to reveal the most exquisite ring Amber had ever seen, a cluster of diamonds and rubies with a nestled diamond in the middle.  Cade smiled to himself, as he heard Amber exhaled. He slipped the ring onto her finger, a perfect fit.  She was his perfect fit. 

Amber's Advocate

Chapter Nineteen

Awake

 

     "You really ought to have waited for back up," Detective Chase stood out of the way,  as Cade was being examined by nurse in one of the stalls.  In his struggle to get to Amber, he had incurred lacerations, scrapes and cuts- but neither bothered him, his main goal he accomplished - he'd gotten to her.

      "Y'know how I feel about waiting," Cade responded, "Not when her life was hanging in the balance."

      "I could have had you arrested Cade for trespassing, for breaking and entering, for interfering... " Detective Chase counted on his fingers.

     "Have me arrested then, I don't really care.  As long as she's safe and in protective custody... I don't give two fucks about me," Cade winced, as the nurse appalled cream to his cuts.

     "In other circumstances I probably would, but you saved my life... I'll see to it that no charges are put against you. You know, we could really use someone like you on the force," Detective Chase replied, "You've got instinct, which is important and hard to find..."

     "If I need a new perspective, I'll let you know," Cade replied, "What say you of Rick?"

     "The bullet you put in him, pierced a lung... his condition is critical but he's stable but who knows,  I'm not God, but one less evil person on this earth the better. I have two of my best men on either side of his door, in case some ass hole decides they want to come and rescue the bastard, you never know the crazies here. I'm not taking my chances with having him let out," Detective Chase said, the bite in his words obvious.

     Cade winced as the nurse bandaged his forearm; when the blade of Stan's knife cut through him whilst he tried to get to an unconscious Amber.  He couldn't forget the blood pooling around her like she was adrift in a bloody red sea. Her blood, not theirs.  That made him angry.  Her face had been ashen and lifeless. And he remembered the gut wrenching feeling, the knots in his stomach when he saw her.  He didn't want to feel that again.  The paramedics who had gotten there had said, if she had waited a few minutes longer, she would surely not have made it.  The nurse dismissed him and he limped to the floor and made his way to the hall.  Detective Chase followed as they walked into the corridor of the hospital.

     "She's in Intensive Care, room eight if that's where you're heading? I have three officers standing outside your room.  They won't give you grief, rest assured - they know who you are but they'll shoot to kill if anyone so much as tries to get to her," Detective Chase said, as if reading his mind, "I'll be in to check on her later to get her statement."

     "So what happens to Rick?" Cade paused mid-step.

     "It looks like he'll be thrown in jail indefinitely without parole. I'm working with a couple of my officers to understand how he managed to get out and it's much bigger then we imagined. I definitely have a hunch on some big wigs being involved.  Just so you know Cade, Rick's going to prison and he'll rot there, you have my word and his accomplice too. Take care of yourself and I'll be in to see her later," Detective Chase said walking the opposite direction.

      Cade entered the Intensive Care Wing of the hospital and noticed immediately the three security officers to room eight.  She was protected.  One person on either side of the door and one facing him head on.  He limped towards her door and wasn't stopped by the security guards, they obviously knew him and even stepped out of the way as he turned the handle of the door and limped  like Chase had said.   There were bouquets of flowers everywhere, an up lighter was in the corner of the room, spreading a warm glow.  Amber was lying in the bed, her eyes closed. She had been stripped to hospital scrubs, a blue dress shirt, her hair like flames around her face.  Her arm was linked to an IV and she was motionless.  The colour of her skin, not as ashen the last time he saw it. There was evidence of colour there, that he was glad.  He took a seat next to her bed and clasped her hand in his, it was lukewarm to the touch.  He'd almost lost her.  He wouldn't know what he would have done if he had lost her, that, he didn't want to think about.

       Holding her hand and knowing she was going to make it, was reassuring.  There was hope at the  end of the long black tunnel.  They'd gone through hell in the time they'd known each other, the bad times outnumbered the good but he was staying, there was no way anyone or anything was going to get rid of him. No way.  He could focus on the good times they shared already and work on having more- that's what you did when you loved someone, you were willing to take the risk, throwing caution to the wind.  He'd waited so long for a person like her, when some men may be put off by her baggage and her state of mind, it had motivated him to help her, push her in the right direction, the direction to heal, how could he just abandon her when she needed him the most.  Love could do that to you and boy, did he love her.  He loved her more then he loved himself.  Today, he was prepared to be arrested, for her safety and knowing she would never have to look over her shoulder because the son of a bitch was going to rot in prison.  His phone vibrated in his pocket and he reluctantly let go of Amber's hand and edged towards the window sill. 

     "Cade, it's Millie... I'll be there in a couple of hours... have you got any news? What's the update?" A frantic Millie said down the phone.

     "She's fine Millie, she's good," Cade replied, he didn't want to worry her best friend and he didn't want to hear a hysterical female on the other end, especially one who would no doubt start crying. 

     "Any news on Rick?" Millie asked viciously.

     "I put a bullet in him, he's under police surveillance in the hospital... frankly I don't know of his situation but I should have put another bullet in him when I got a chance," Cade said angrily.

     "The main thing is that Amber is okay, just focus on that Cade, she needs you and I'll be there as soon as I can," Millie said.

     The whisper from behind him, broke his thoughts... Amber was waking up. 

     "Mills, I've got to go she's waking up," Cade said, "I'll see you later."

     Cade put the phone back into his pocket and strode over to Amber and as their gazes met she looked at him in horror.

     "What happened to you?" she said in disgust.

     "I'll explain later, how are you feeling?" Cade sat by her bed.

     "Like an elephant's sitting on my head... is... has... Rick... is he dead?" she asked.

     "No, but he could have been... he's not going to hurt you... not anymore. I won't let him.  When I saw you Amber, it's like I died... I won't let any fucker get near you, I won't," Cade said as an oath.

     Amber touched the top of his head, "I know you won't... I believe you... I don't want to even give him a moments thought, not even a second... I've lived far too much of my life in the past and I want so much to live in the here and now, you know?  Life's too short... I love you Cade.  It's taken me a while to realise it but it's true, I love you... not because you've been so patient and kind and accommodating towards me but because you have been the first person who hasn't walked around me on egg shells, who hasn't treated me like I was broken and needed fixing and because you're just you. You know what you have to do now right?"

    "Get you out of here?" Cade replied jokily.

    "Soon, once this elephant's vacated my head," Amber grinned.

     "So, what do I have to do?" Cade asked.

    "You gonna tell me how much you love me yet?" Amber teased.

     Cade couldn't help himself, he leaned forward and kissed her.

    

     

Amber's Advocate

Chapter Eighteen

Safe

     Amber did not feel safe. 

    Safe was a word she didn't use lightly, she felt safe when she was in London.  (Even though London was as unfamiliar to her as the British sense of humour).   She felt safe when she was behind Fort-Knox; the town house she shared with Millie and Liam.   She was safe when she was with Cade, he had somehow implemented himself into her life without her even realising.  She did not feel safe- not right now.  She should have stayed at the hotel, why didn't she? It had been a stupid argument, pointless.  Her anxiety and nerves had been riding on her, hence her snapping at him.  He was only trying to help her cope... she knew now, she had to have a little bit of faith.   Now she was roaming around the block of a concrete jungle she used to know,  her feet having taken her away from 'safe'...

Stupid feet.  

      What the hell was wrong with her?  She made the decision to head back, it was dark and it was late and she was tired.  She could feel the jet lag creeping up on her.  She had been walking for an hour, an hour of feeling destitute... even though that hour had felt like the longest hour of her life.   She hailed a yellow taxi and got in.  Sinking back into the leather, she closed her eyes and exhaled.  When she opened her eyes to look outside, she noticed The Waldorf blur passed and immediately she felt the unease... where the hell were they going?

     "You just passed the hotel... excuse me?" Amber said, leaning forward, her arm resting on the driver's seat, "Did you hear me? Hello?"

     She tapped him on the shoulder but he didn't even acknowledge her.  She looked at the profile of the man sitting in the driver's seat, he was bald, had a pasty complexion and looked like he'd had scoffed too many burgers and fries that no matter how much exercise he did, it wouldn't be shift the extra tyres he was carrying  He also didn't look like the ID displayed on the dashboard.  Shit! Amber reached for the door to open it but they were locked, she tried the window but the glass wouldn't go down.  She yelled and screamed, she might as well not have a voice.  He ignored her. 

     Amber felt a pin prick in her arm and she looked down to see she'd been stabbed with something- her vision became cloudy immediately, "Wh...wha...what di...did... y..y...you give me?" She slumped forward, hitting her head on the seat in front of her.  She heard the sound of laughing as she blacked out.

***

    Amber screamed awake, hoping to God that she wasn't living and breathing through what she considered to be one of the worst nightmares ever.  She'd been stabbed repeatedly and whenever she came back to life, the faceless attacker would continue to hack at her before she died.  Amber closed her eyes, forcing at will the bile rising in her throat, back down. She felt disorientated, dizzy and hungover.  Her mind was scattered like jigsaw puzzles, she was trying to piece things together. She tried to move, but she found out all too soon that she couldn't.  And that was when a light switched on- flooding the space she was in with light.  She blinked, adjusting her sight to the overpowering brightness.  Her feet were braced together with cable ties, as were her arms to the arm rests of her chair, she couldn't move, even if she tried... God, she was scared... she wasn't prepared for this... but she wasn't prepared for that voice either...

    "Amber... Amber... Amber... "

    "R... Ri...Rick," she stammered, "Is that you?"

    He came towards her from out of the darkness and planted a kiss square on her lips.   She tried to squirm, tried to move her face away from his.   He was having none of it, his dry callused fingers dug into her face and yanked it towards him.  He pried her lips open with his tongue- but she bit into his.  He yelled, letting go of her as he tasted his blood in his mouth and the throbbing pain with it.  He back handed her and her face flipped to the side like a switch.

    "You deserved that, you fucking cunt!" she said through clenched teeth, her face unmoved.  

    "Still got your bite, I see," Rick spat the blood, "Watch your mouth."

     "You lost all power over me a long time ago... so piss off!" Amber shouted.

     "Don't test me..." Rick began.

     "Or what? You'll slap me, kick me, punch me... go on then... take your best shot, you pathetic little man!" Amber laughed sarcastically.

    Rick didn't notice the change in Amber until she used her mouth... there was so much venom and hate in her tone, it was almost as if witnessing her for the second time, the first time being when he first met her in the bar and she was a feisty little thing.  She was even feistier now.  When they'd started going out, she'd become less feisty and more subdued, more soft and she'd somehow changed. 

    "This is how it is, right Rick?  You love exercising your power over women... you enjoy being the bigger person, the one that rules the roost... you like speaking with your fists rather then your mouth and you like leaving carnage in your wake... I should know." 

    "Shut you're fucking hole!" Rick yelled.

    "Can't take the truth can you... hurts doesn't it? Your father was just the same..."

    Rick lashed out, punching her in her gut,  "You don't know anything about my father!" Rick shouted.

   "You're right, I know nothing about him... but I knew he hit you... and you passed that onto your unborn child... I lost my child because you killed it... you're a murderer... a killer!" Amber spat.

   Rick was about to throw another punch but he stopped midway, "What?!"

  Amber broke down in hysterical sobs, she had never told him he could have been a father... nor that she was pregnant... but she had lost her unborn child to his savage intent.  The tears wouldn't stop pouring down her face.  He yanked her face towards his and the look in his eyes weren't savage, violence or anything, they were blank.

   "What did you just say?" his voice was quiet, she had barely heard him.

   "I was pregnant with your kid but you killed it... and I wished you had killed me too..." Amber said, the bile rising in her throat.

    Rick staggered back, as if she had landed a punch to his gut, "You're making that shit up?"

   "I wish I was... I wish I was," Amber said, her head hanging down. 

    A door opened somewhere and foot steps echoed, "What the fuck did you do? I thought we'd agreed you wouldn't touch her! Fuck!"

   There was no reply. 

    "Rick, what the fuck is wrong with you?! Have you even called her boyfriend yet? Rick, what the fuck?!" The man became impatient, "Do I have to do everything myself?"

**

   "I don't believe in coincidences," the New York police detective said to Cade, "I wondered why it never appeared on our radar that he'd been discharged from prison... usually we're the first to know these things... especially as this story was strewn across the media like it was gossip.  Our officers are looking into that."

    "I want to know..." Cade didn't get to finish his sentence as his mobile rang, "It's Amber's phone," he said to the detective. 

    "Let's put a tracer on it," the detective whispered.

    "Amber baby, is that you?"

    "Bring me two million in paper in two large sacks, the destination will be sent by text.  Don't involve the police and you'll get your darling girl back," the voice was a demand.

    "How do I know this isn't some kind of joke?" Cade said. 

    There was a long pause and then Amber came on the phone, "Cade... Cade... don't give Stan the money, don't give him..." And then he heard her scream and a crash and the phone went dead.

    "If they fucking hurt her, I'm going to kill them!"

    His phone beeped and he looked at the text message, "Where the hell are The Docks?"

   The detective was already throwing commands at his team and there was a sudden urgency and buzz in the room, "Let's go... Cade you'll have to stay here."

   "Hell no, I'm not staying here... I'm coming with you,"  Cade responded.

    "It's advisable you stay here for your safety," the detective said.

    "If it was your woman?" Cade responded.

    "Let's get you a bullet proof vest," the detective said and ushered them all out of the room. 





Amber's Advocate

Chapter Seventeen

When the shit hits the fan, it hits



    Cade strolled to the front desk where they were greeted by the check in clerk.  He peered over his shoulder to see Amber taking in the grandeur of the lobby, of the Waldorf Astoria.  For a native New Yorker, she sure looked at the place as if seeing it for the very first time.  The lobby was opulent, boasting of Italian marble, the overhead expanse of a chandelier and subtle lighting gave the area an intimate feel. 

 

    "It's so dark in here... I wonder what it looks like during the day," Amber whispered, as she nervously played with her charm bracelet.

    "We'll find out in a couple of hours," Cade looked at his watch, "Would you like to go to your room?"

    She nodded and they made their way to the lift, "So what kind of room do we have?"

    "A luxury suite, you have your own bedroom, as do I, and we have joint facilities I think. We're on the forty second floor," Cade said stealing a glance at Amber.

   "What? But that's the penthouse area," Amber said, her mouth wide open.

   "One of them..." Cade replied.

   "I don't understand, how does your magazine afford luxury like this?  Don't get me wrong, it's great that you write and all... but it's not like a big publication, it's tiny in comparison to Vogue or GQ or... I mean, I hardly knew of it's existence until I met you," Amber said confused.

   "That's why I'm here in New York to expand the magazines horizon.  Besides, we don't exactly want to be Vogue a fashion magazine... or GQ... of course, I'd be lying, we want the sales side of things just not be known for being a fashion mag or lifestyle... the magazine's demographic is aimed towards the more accomplished, informative man.  The man who wants to know what the hell is going on around the world, not just what's outside his front door or on the street," Cade replied. 

   "That's all good and dandy and I appreciate the education Cade, but your magazine isn't with the big wigs yet... so how the hell did it afford this? The Waldorf Astoria?" Amber said stepping onto the corridor of the forty second floor.

    "It can't..." Cade said, putting his key into the door and the door opened.  Amber stepped in and her mouth dropped open.

    She turned around and looked at him, "So... what? You used your own money to stay here?"

    Cade stood by the landing, he watched Amber as she stood in the middle of their suite's foyer, her hands on her hips, waiting for a reply.

   "You used your own money to stay here... whatever for?" she asked in disbelief.

   "For you, for us," Cade simply said.

    "For me? I don't understand," Amber said, "For us?"

   "I can tell, you miss New York, I can tell by the way you talk about it... I can tell by the spark in your eyes, then by the way they water because it's too painful.  Because the way things ended here... it's not a place you want to go to revisit... but I want to change all that.  I want to show you that it doesn't have to be this way... that sometimes good can come out of the really bad stuff," Cade pleaded.  He remained standing, he wasn't going to pity her.  She wouldn't want that. 

   "So, you're my advocate?" Amber looked straight at him.

   "If you want to label it, yes... but foremost..."

   "You lied to me..." she rushed past him.  He grasped the sides of her arms.

   "I swear to you, I didn't... not intentionally... I just want things to be..."

   Amber shoved him away, "I trusted you... I trusted you and you deceived me! Why couldn't you just tell me you wanted me to come..."

   "Because I knew you wouldn't... it's too hard for you... God Amber, if you only knew what it's like to see someone you deeply care about, upset, hurting... a hurt you can't get to because you don't understand or you don't know where to start."

    "You won't know then, will you," Amber yelled and flew out the door.

    Cade cursed and ran after her.  She was standing at the lift, fuming, "Where are you going?"

   "Anywhere but here," she snapped back.

   "Can we go in and talk about this?" Cade asked softly.

   "What's the point, you assumed what you think I needed when you lied your way to get me here... do you have any idea what it feels like to know in this very city, that the person I used to love, tried to kill me... that he's lying in a cell in this city just waiting, biding his time... to seek his revenge.  I didn't want to come here, ever again!  I didn't want to come here... knowing I'm closer now to him then ever... but I came back here because you wanted me to and because I thought... maybe, however minuscule the possibility was... that there would be one guy out there... one guy, who would be different... but you're all the same... all of you."

    "Amber please, let's talk about this inside," Cade asked.

    "No, I'm going home... back to London... where it's safe," Amber said.

    "You can't run for ever Amber... you can't, it's not the way to live your life," Cade whispered.

    "It's my life Cade, IT'S MY LIFE!" she yelled back. 

    "I'm not telling you to live your life the way I want it... I just wanted to help you..." Cade offered. 

    "I'm tired of people trying to dictate to me how I should live my life... I'm not a child..." Amber said, pressing the button for the lift.

     "Please come inside and we can talk about this.  I'm not telling you, I'm giving you a choice Amber."

     "Then if this is the choice you're giving me... you'll understand... leave me alone," Amber stepped into the lift and the doors closed in his face.

     Cade stood by the lift, the adrenaline coursing through his veins.  He slapped his hand against the wall and stormed back into the suite.  The sound of his phone, brought him back to reality with a thud.  He searched through his hand carry and retrieved the phone, before it stopped ringing.  He looked at his call log, it was a UK number.  He called it back.

     The voice of a distressed woman came on the line and he recognised the voice immediately "Is she there?"

     "Millie, what's wrong?" Cade said urgently. 

     "Where is she Cade? Where's Amber?" 

     "She's just popped out," he lied, "Now, tell me what's wrong?"

    "Rick's out of prison... he got out... not even on parole... he got out,"  Cade didn't have to ask twice.  He ran out of the suite and ran into the lift, seeing the lift there waiting... without Amber.  He suddenly felt cold.