Have You Ever

CHAPTER SIX

... thought about balance?

Never judge a book by it's cover- that also includes restaurants as well.  Jack and I have walked into a restaurant that, from the outset looks like they got their toddler to design- but the food is simply divine and I'm eating like a pig, forget about manners, the food is too good to eat like a lady.  I'm not sure I'm coming across exactly right either but I'm past caring.

"How's your grandmother?" I ask because it's been a while.

"She's great, hilarious as always.  She's down in Devon at the moment with friends," Jack says in between mouthfuls, "How's Lottie?"

He means Charlotte my flatmate, I haven't really seen a lot of her lately because she's been at various exhibitions, showcasing her work and I haven't really caught up with her, I tell him this and he nods as if understanding. We talk in between mouthfuls and share a few tidbits in between, about her lives, her childhoods, friends, that sort of thing but we don't dare go into discussion about our love life's because let's be clear that is non existent at the moment.  Kinda sad really, I have a great career, I love what I do but it's hard to maintain a balance, because balance is everything, isn't it?

"What's wrong? Don't you like what you're eating?" Jack asks.

"Oh no, I love the food, I just... was thinking that was all," I say.

"What about?" he asks without reservation.

"Oh y'know stuff," I say vaguely.

"If you don't wanna talk about it, that's perfectly fine- you were frowning, I was beginning to think you weren't enjoying my company, that was all," Jack said, taking a swig of his root beer.

"Can I ask you a really random question?"  he nods, "Do you find it hard to meet people... like, never mind... silly question." 

There's a silence between us.

"Yeah, of course. I'm cooped up in my studio at all hours of the night and day, I really don't have a chance for much right now, you?"

"The same."

"Do you wish it were different?" Jack asks.

"I guess, you always want something you don't have... I guess so."

"I don't think I would be a particularly great boyfriend though... my job is pretty stressful and unless she likes watching me work, that would be date night."

I nod in acknowledgement - so he's not seeing anyone at the moment, that's cool. Why am I pleased?

After a while, he pays for dinner where I battle him out to pay for my share but he insists it was his idea and pays for everything.  We walk out into the humidity and he offers to walk me home, where I insist he doesn't need to.  Chelsea's a safe neighbourhood- but he insists and I don't really have a choice. He's bigger and burlier then I am, so I don't really have a choice.

Home isn't that far away and we walk and talk as if like old friends and then we reach my front door, it definitely feels like a first a date, especially one that is without the pressures.

"Wow, it's been a long day... I was meant to go to Paris today but with the ash cloud and all..."

"Has anyone ever told you that when you're nervous, you babble."

"I'm not a babbler, I simply like to fill awkward silences with my reputable babble... yeah, maybe I am a tad nervous, I'm only nervous now because we're out here and we didn't exactly leave on great circumstances and well, I'm sorry for that and I just really..." I was on the edge of losing breathe there and all of a sudden Jack closes the gap between us and kisses me, smack-bang-thank-you-mam right on the lips. His arms are curling around my waist and he's kissing me like he's been without kissing for centuries and perhaps that is a slight exaggeration but I can't describe it any other way. He draws away and looks intently at me.

"You're blushing," he speaks.

And somehow I don't have anything to say, stunned and speechless.

"I think I might have kissed you to silence," he jokes, grinning.

I nod.

"I gotta go, early start tomorrow... I'll try swinging by sometime tomorrow to help you out with whatever needs doing, thanks for tonight and everything," he leans forward and plants a simple sensual kiss on me, smiles and waits whilst I let myself in, I smile as I close the door on him and lean against the door.

"What are you smiling about?" Ronan quips as he catches me in my reverie.

"Nothing, can't I just smile?"

"No, there's always someone or something that brings a smile to you Fred and I suspect it's a man," Ronan remarks, spot on.

I walk towards the steps, "I'm beat, I'm off to bed..."

"Don't worry, sooner or later, I'll get it out of you," he smiles and I run up the stairs to bed.

***

The following day, I'm a lot more casual then I was previously- I decide to wear skinny jeans, red ballet pumps and a stripey jumper on the exception that I wear my hair up in a tight pony tail, only as I'll be baking and designing.  I open shop, allowing Keira a lie in before she comes in and starts serving at eleven o'clock.  Thankfully, it's quiet and I've served a few early risers with red velvet and banana and chocolate iced muffins.  I've put the radio on and ice cupcakes at the till. 

I get a call ten minutes later, there's a burst pipe in Keira's flat and there's water everywhere, her and her boyfriend have to clear up the mess and organise a plumber to come in and fix it.  It's fine, these things happen, I tell her to take the rest of the day off and get it sorted.  It's quiet still and it's midday, the bell above the door jingles and I look up and I can't believe my eyes- what the fuck is she doing here?

"Hi sis," my sister... my snotty, back stabbing sister says, she's lost weight and she has her suitcase with her. I can only fathom one thing.

"What do you want Freida?" I say, leaning back in my chair, folding my arms.

"I need your help," she simply says, and she exhales, biting back tears.  I have no sympathy for her.

"Please Fred, I had no where else to go and we are sisters after all, aren't we meant to help each other?" she says, trying to turn the tables on me.

"No, I stopped helping you the moment you broke the unwritten rules between sisters Frieda," I say flippantly, carrying on icing.

"I'm sorry, I was a bitch back then... but I need your help," she pleads, out of all the time I've known my sister, she has never once pleaded with me.

"Well you've come to the wrong person haven't you?"

"I'm pregnant Fred," she simply states.

I look down at the icing bag in my hand, I'm cruel but I'm not that cruel.  I exhale, "I'm listening."

She moves her suitcase out of the way and starts crying, "I don't know what to do, I'm not ready for children.  I don't have friends I can rely on over there." She's a blubbering mess.

"Can't you go over to mum and dad's?"

"No, they'll only ask questions I have no intention of answering."

"Like who the father is? Who is the father by the way?" I ask, the last I had heard she was still together with my ex.

There's a pause, a very pregnant pause... no pun intended.

"It's not his... it's Hartley Armstrong," my jaw hits the floor. 

Hartley Armstrong is a bachelor by the highest degree, he has slept with almost every actress, model, singer, thespian etc.  He's been known in the past to break it off with women who start hinting at marriage and babies - he doesn't do either, but he is gorgeous, he's your rough and rogue kind of guy. So, my sister has been bedded by a superstar.

"So what is it you exactly need? Help to figure out who's it is or what to do with it?" I ask her.

"Both-" she says, "I don't know what to do,"

"For starters, you need to tell the father," I say.

"But I'm carrying the baby," she says, in all her naivety.

"Yes, but you had sex and when the egg meets the sperm that equates that," I throw back at her, "What did you think would happen, the stalk would deliver a baby to you?"

"Still as sarcastic as ever, I see," she replies back.

"What did you expect, arms wide open, after the shit you left behind, the pieces I had to piece back together ON MY OWN!" 

"Calm down Fred- this isn't helping," Frieda says, touching her temple.

"I'm sorry, if my welcome isn't satisfactory to your showbiz standards- but here on earth, if you make your bed, you certainly have to lie in it.  I can't help you, I wouldn't know where to begin and I'm sure with your money you can certainly pay someone to think up things for you."

"You're a heartless bitch, y'know that Fred!" she screams, grabbing hold of her suitcase and slamming the door open but pausing.

"Takes one to know one," I reply back.

I watch her storm off down the street and carry on icing, it bears no impact on me.  I'm used to my twin sister, dropping by when it suits her and expecting everyone in her path to take care of things. It's about time, she took responsibility for her actions. 

I decide to close the shop, because I hate it when my sister disrupts a perfectly good day- I'm going to do something exciting, I'm going to go shopping.

Only, when it comes to shopping- my sister has the same idea. I bump into her on the Kings Road and am caught in a paparazzi scrum.  Who the heck alerted them? I head in the opposite direction only to pause- it's my sister, if anything happened to her, it'd be on my head... she's pregnant after all with my niece, nephew.  Despite all the shit that has happened to her, she's still my sister, I grab her arm and drag her into the nearest black cab and head off.

Have You Ever

CHAPTER FIVE

... wished things were easier?

It's a disaster- first my flight is cancelled due to this unforsaken ash cloud that seems to be dithering around Europe and second, I forget my passport which is probably a good thing considering there are no flights to fly out of London.  Is the universe trying to tell me something here?  I want to go to Paris, I will bake to get there, if at all humanly possible. 

So, I head home with my tail between my legs like an idiot- I find my passport on the mantle piece where I left it in my hurry and plonk down on the nearest chair and try to book a seat on the Eurostar, unfortunately, everything is booked up and they're not even putting on extra services, this is not looking good whatsoever.  Paris is not looking good. 

An hour and a half later, Paris is not looking good - I'm gutted to the extent that I won't be enarmouring myself in Paris' culinary reputation. Gutted.  I head towards the shop in my Parisian chic, Louboutins, a plaid skirt and a top to go and my hair was even Brazilian blow dried too.  Keira looks up as I enter the shop and she looks confused, I know how she feels. 

"I thought you were supposed to be on your way to gay Paris?" she says.

"Supposed to is the understatement of the year! That bloody ash cloud has muddled my plans- I'm not going?" I say, feet astride and hands on hips.

"They said you had gone to Paris and now I know they were lying," the voice drifts and I turn around to see Nathan standing behind me.  His white shirt is effortlessly cool, matched with dark denim trousers. He looks me from head to toe, "Parisian chic, I do see though."

"How can I help you?" I say, I really am not in the mood.

"I just wanted to come in and order some special cupcakes for an event we're holding at the bar, for Jack's and I's company, it's for next week Saturday," Nathan says.

I look to Keira, "Please assist this gentleman, I'll be out back with the books."

"Hold on one minute," Nathan stops me mid-step, "We need around two hundred and fifty cupcakes... I brought some pictures we'd like to be showcased on them."

This is definitely not a job that Keira can take on, I usually need a couple of weeks notice to produce that large a batch. I will simply have to tell him no, but before I can, it gets even more exciting... Jack walks into the shop.

"Hi," he manages and I really do wish I were in Paris now.  This is awkward.

"I don't think I can manage to produce that large amount if they're for next week, I do need a couple weeks notice," I look from Jack to Nathan.

"I completely understand that and I apologise for the late request Fred, but we're desperate here.  Why can't you go with it?"

I know it's no excuse but I say, "Time and ingredients."

"Fine, if it's time... I'm sure Jack will help in any means possible now and if it's ingredients then we'll buy up the whole of the baking aisle in Sainsburys, please Fred... I wouldn't beg if I wasn't desperate, which I am. I was going to bargain on getting a discount but I won't even barter with you, please!" Nathan says and then goes down on his knees and begs.

"Get off the floor Nathan, stop embarrassing yourself," I say.

"I won't, not until you agree," he replies.

"Fine," I murmur.

"So, that's a yes?" Nathan confirms.

I nod.  He gets up and grabs me in a bear hug and kisses me square on the lips and can see Jack literally squirming- squirming, he looks indignant, appalled. 

"I gotta dash- have some bits to do for work but Jack will assist you with everything that needs doing," Nathan slams a folder pack on Jack and disappears through the front door.

It's awkward, I won't lie. I take Jack to the back where we sit at the table.  

"Would you like a cup of tea or something?" I ask.

"I'm fine, thanks," Jack says.

I take out a couple of photographs and glance at them, they're beautiful.  It's a set room, modestly done with their furniture.

"That's one of our well known pieces and our popular ones, we want to expand to the US and Asia hence the launch. We've got investors whose colleagues are coming on their behalf for this, so it's pretty important."

Jack says staring at the photographs with me.

"How much do they sell for?" I ask, because they are simply stunning.

"Why, you interested?" Jack asks.

"Maybe," I reply.

"This piece is pretty popular, retail price is £1050 because we find the best wood and fairtrade... and we're very environmentally friendly, every tree cut down another two are put up in it's place."

"Wow, and are these made by machine or..."

"By myself... you can imagine how extensive the waiting list is though," he says and my eyes immediately dart to his hands.

He looks down at his, "They've seen better days- I have lost count of how many splinters I have or had even."

"Don't you feel under pressure?"

"Pressure, no, not really... it's something that I love, carving, making, doing... I wouldn't change it for the world. If they want it as half as much as I think they do, they can wait... they know that it's one man and his wood..."

I laugh out loud, because he just said, one man and his wood - that's hilarious.

"Why are you laughing?" he doesn't get it.

"I'm sorry, but you said one man and his wood and I just thought about the naughty side of that...  best thing I've heard today!"

He grins, "So, getting back to the drawing board... how do we go about organising two hundred and fifty cakes?"

"The magic of technology is on our side, some will be printed on fondant to showcase your work... this is edible- it's food colouring for cake printing and I'll make some little shapes out of what you've given to me... it should be okay, I hope... I'll have to put in a lot of long hours but I'm used to that."

"Would you let me watch you work?"

"No, not unless you actually help and maybe I will... okay, let me have a look at these things and then I'll let you know,"

"You can reach me at the office, that's where I usually am... in and out of hours."

I smile.

"I better be off, have loads of shaping and engraving to do," Jack says, and I automatically feel deflated.

"I'll talk to you soon."

He smiles and leaves by the way he came. I look down at the brochures and get to work.

It's seven in the evening and at this time, I've drawn up samples to show Jack what could possibly be his cupcakes for the launch. I pick up the phone and dial the office, it's ringing and ringing on end and decide to hang up, he's probably gone home or something.  I rivert back to the cakes and the phone rings and it's Jack, he apologises for not hearing the phone until he stopped cutting.  I explain that I've done a sample batch for his viewing whenever he's ready to see them.  He says he'll be right there, give or take ten minutes.

He's there exactly in that time and knocks on the door, I usher him inside and bolt the door shut and lead him out back.  He's in overalls, sawdust on his shoes and I notice there is a cut on his forefinger where a large plaster has been intricately wrapped around it.  I unveil the cupcakes to him and there's silence and then he turns to me and nods his head gallantly.

"This is probably the best cupcakes I have seen in forever, thank you - we will definitely go with them, equal share of all please."

I smile and get to it.

"You're not seriously starting them now are you?"

"No, tomorrow... I'll be in a fresher state of mind then, I'm just seeing how much ingredients I have left before I need to order or get some."

"What are you doing after gauzing?" Jack asks.

"Probably veg out in front of the TV or go to sleep, dunno."

"Would you like to accompany me to dinner?" Jack asks.

I pause, "I would love that."

"I'll be back in twenty minutes, I just need to change and then I'll come back and pick you up... how are you about motorcycles?"

"Umm, not too sure, as I'm wearing a skirt today..."

"Sure, we'll do something local instead then," he smiles and turns to leave, "I'll see my way out, I'll be back shortly."

After he's left, I can't believe my luck... it's turned around - maybe not going to Paris was meant to be.

Have You Ever

CHAPTER FOUR

... wanted to take over the world?

I'm the worst in relationships- the worst, it's either me or the fact I seem to be attracted to the wrong blokes OR in fact, I attract the wrong ones.  I don't know, I'm just over it.  Do you think my luck will change if I go out with an ugly bloke with a nice personality- a role reversal of the sort? Nah, I'm not really feeling the idea.  I'm leafing through Hello magazine on a Saturday afternoon, the shop is actually quiet, so I'm out back and Keira my trusted assistant is in the front, ringing up the purchases for customers.  I haven't seen Jack since that night he dropped that weird conversation on me, nor have I seen his brother either. Good riddance. That was awkward, it wasn't as if we were an item. Maybe the dating game is even more confusing then when I was last in it. Anyway, the past is the past, no point in looking back and cringing.

Tomorrow, I'm flying off to Paris, yes Paris-Eiffel Tower-The Louvre-Paris.  I'm excited.  The last time I went there was last year, I needed some snazzy ideas for the deco for the shop and any such excuse to tuck into their macaroons and fine cuisine.  This time, it's business- I'm planning to expand the business abroad. I want to open my business in Paris- it's a big step but one I'm confident in taking.  If all is successful, I will entrust this flagship shop to Keira who will take care of this, whilst I plan the next step in my empire.  Paris, I cannot wait, it's all, I've been thinking about since I booked the tickets the other day. 

I cannot wait....

Have You Ever

CHAPTER THREE

...  wished you could read men's minds?

It's been almost two weeks since I last saw Jack- he hasn't called but why would he? It's not like he has my mobile number.  I haven't even seen him in Sainsburys.  It's funny, he showed signs that we might have had potential as a couple but maybe I put too many of my eggs in one basket. I guess it's just my bad luck then.

Work has been keeping me out of trouble, which is a Godsend, otherwise I would be analyzing and over analyzing every fragment of conversation, every touch, eye contact, everything.  The bruise on my temple has gone through a spectrum of colours the last few days, from yellow, to blue, to purple, to green and now it's back to yellow.  The day has been busy and I'm thankful more so, because it's been raining a lot and usually when it's raining the customers tend to not want to come into the shop. 

It's fast approaching early evening and I close up shop and head to Sainsburys to pick up a few items before I head home. Sainsburys is hardly packed at eight in the evening and I stow items in my basket and my heart jumps because only meters away, I spot Jack looking at some lentils. I walk gallantly towards him, telling myself to stop overreacting at the sight of him.

"Hey you," I smile, invading his space.  When he turns around, I realise it's not him at all... but someone that looks a lot like him and I want to run a mile, "I'm sorry, you look a lot like someone I know... I...err... umm.."

He smiles and I notice dimples, which only rockets my inability to breathe, "No worries, I get that a lot... more then you know actually. So, who do I remind you of?"

"Just someone I know... doesn't matter, well, sorry to have bothered you," I say leaving to go.

"Wait!" I hear him say and turn towards him, "I don't make a habit of doing this, but would you like to go for a drink? I have a mate who owns a bar, you're more then welcome to join me."

Is he actually asking me out? I barely know him.  For all I know he could look like a prince but is a Psycho underneath, the thought sends shivers down my spine- but would it hurt, if I lived a little and go for drinks with him? Seriously, it's in public. Fred, get a grip, I tell myself.

"Yes, that would be lovely," I hear myself say, am I coming across as easy?  God I hope not.

***

As we're walking to the bar on the main road, having past my bakery and towards the canal where this bar is situated, I learn a lot about Nate, though his actual name is Nathaniel but he prefers to be called Nate. I learn that he co-owns a carpentry business with his brother and he mostly provided the bar with it's furnishings. We get to the bar, though I hardly ever noticed it before, as it's off the main road down a side street and is called, The Church. The Church? It doesn't look like a church, am I missing something.  As if reading my mind, Nate offers explanation to why it's called that, due to the mahogany style pew seating and the grandeur you would only ever expect from some thing like a Church.  We enter the bar and he's right, it feels like a Church but strangely like a bar at the same time. There are chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and stainless glass windows but the bar is so modern with it's lighting, that I'm left slightly in a daze by it.

We sit at the bar because Nate's good friends with the bar owner, which I'm presuming is the tall blonde guy just drawing a pint.  After the guy's served the customer, he comes on over and I get introduced to him, his name's Larry and has a strong Aussie accent. He asks me what I drink and I watch as Larry and Nate exchange conversation whilst Larry makes me my vodka and lemonade.  After a while,  I excuse myself and scurry over to the toilets on the other side, the toilets are like confession booths, dark yet intimate... not that one wants to get intimate with their pee but y'know what I mean.  I head back to the group of people who have since joined us, a girl called Laura who is a lesbian and is not afraid to show it-she's beautiful with long blonde hair and blue eyes, has been staring down every other girl who enters the bar; she's a laugh, if not a little out there and accompanying her is her friend Sammy, a guy with razor sharp cheekbones, who you'd expect to have walked out of a GQ magazine spread. Falling into conversation with them is easy, because they're fun and frivolous.  Larry has made me another vodka and lemonade, my third one and I'm surprised I'm not toppling over when suddenly from the corner of my eye, Nate is chatting to someone by the door and I realise it to be only one person, Jack.  They're edging towards us and Nate starts to make introductions.

"Fred, I'd like you to meet my brother Jack... Jack this is Fred," Nate says, catching on to both our hesitations, "Do you know each other?"

I'm about to speak but Jack gets in there, "Yeah, we do," he says looking at me intently. So intently, I feel like I'm the only one he sees.

"Oh, how did you two meet?" Nate asks, looking from Jack to me.

"Sainsburys," both Jack and I chime.

Nate smacks his brother across the chest in a brotherly way, "No fucking way! I just met Fred in Sainsburys today- which makes sense, because she must have thought I was you."

I look at Nate who's grinning like the cat who got the cream and I feel myself turning redder by the minute.  Nate smacks us both on the shoulders and pushes us together, I think he's had far too much to drink, because the push is more like a shove and we end up colliding into each other, whereby I have to cling onto Jack to keep from falling to the floor like a heap. I stand back from him and look him straight in the eye.

"How are you Frederica?" he says in my ear.

I shrug, "Good, good and you?"

"Busy, sorry I haven't called or been to see you... I've been working to expand the business..." Jack offers explanation.

"No, no, it's cool... it's not like we're a couple or anything..." I laugh mostly out of pure nervousness and I'm only left wondering where my 'comfortableness' has gone. I look to the ground as if all the answers are there but he tips my chin up with his finger and I'm forced to stare at him.

"Is that what you would like us to be? A couple?" he asks.

I'm about to respond to him, but nothing comes out... I'm speechless.  Jack is about to say something back but Laura jumps into the conversation, like literally jumps between us. She hugs Jack and adopts a baby voice, y'know those voices that girls use to talk to their boyfriend, especially when they want something.  Her voice has is high pitched and whiny.

"Jacky poo poo, where have you been... I've missed you," she says, her lips pouting, as if she expects him to pat her back or something.

He hugs her back and she stares at him and continues a conversation, making me feel on the side lines. I turn around and notice that Sammy is talking to a bloke and Larry and Nate are chatting to two brunettes.  I feel left out and I look at my watch and notice it's late.  I walk over to Nate and Larry and tell them I'm off and they both give me a hug and tell me to pop in again soon. Nate tells me, he'll get my details off Jack but I tell him Jack doesn't have mine, so I hand him a business card and I leave. I say goodbye to Sammy and try to find Jack and Laura but they seem to have moved over to the bay windows. I want to say goodbye to them but they look in deep conversation and I don't want to interrupt, so I grab my bags and head on out.  Thankfully, it's a beautiful night, it's warm and home is only a few blocks away.  Why am I analyzing my brief moment with Jack, it's not like we managed to talk, ah well... maybe it wasn't meant to be.  He couldn't possibly have called me because he doesn't have my contact details. Ah crap!

When I get home, Ronan is in the living room with a glass of red watching TV, "What time do you call this?"

"What are you, my mother?" I reply sarcastically in our friendly banter way.

"I don't wish that on anyone," he laughs, "Come sit down and have some red with me."

I sit down next to him and notice he's watching The Tudors, uh oh... it's a sign, when you catch Ronan drinking red wine and watching the Tudors, not all is well in relationship-ville or shagville for that matter.

"What's the matter?" I ask, pouring red into a wine glass.

"I met an amazing guy today, so amazing, I think he could possibly be the one..." Ronan takes a large gulp.

"But?" I ask.

"He's engaged... and they're getting married next month," Ronan says, "But if you could have one conversation with him Fred, you'd fall in love with him too... just my bad luck. I actually find a guy, who I could see myself being with and I haven't shagged him yet but anyway, must not fret, there's are tons more men I haven't shagged. So, tell me, why are you late?"

"I was out drinking... in The Church, amazing bar, never knew it existed because it's on a side street but prior to that I got asked out to go there by a guy, Nate who I thought was Jack, but is in fact Jack's brother and well, Jack eventually came round and I didn't really get to talk to him because some lesbian just took him away and by the time I left, well... I just..."

"And where exactly did you meet Nate?" Ronan asks.

"In Sainsbury's," I reply.

"What does Nate look like exactly?" Ronan asks, always asks for description.

"Well, he's tall, has brown hair and pretty eyes, a lad's lad... completely the opposite of Jack who's quite quiet..." I reply.

"Y'know what they say about the quiet ones, you gotta watch out for those... by the way, has the lesbian got any gay friends?" Ronan asks.

"The lesbian, her name's Laura... she does have a friend called Sammy who looks like a model from GQ, no idea if he's gay or not though, sorry... but next time, come down the bar- they always seem to be there," I reply. It's coming to twelve and I deposit my wine glass in the sink and head on to the bathroom to get showered and ready for bed. As I'm changing in the bathroom, there's a knock on the door and I open it, it's Ronan.

"Jack's in the living room..." he says, "Had to let him in as didn't want to come across rude."

"Why is he here?"I whisper.

Ronan shrugs and heads to his bedroom.  I can't exactly change into anything but I walk out in what I've put on a pink camisole and the white shorts to go, except these are more like daisy dukes, my hair is wet and is hanging limply on my shoulders.  As I approach the living room, Jack is leaning forwards, hands together and is staring at the floor.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, because I'm tired and really want to go to bed.

He stands up, "I just wanted to check you got home okay,"

"Well, as you can tell... I'm fine."

"Why did you give your details to Nate and not me?" he's not budging.

"Pardon?" I ask, confused.

"Why. Did. You. Give. Your. Details. To. Nate. And. Not. Me?" Jack says again.

"What's this all about?" I say, rubbing my forehead, I feel a headache coming on... mostly due to my alcohol assumption then the situation.

"I just want to know," Jack says.

"Wow, you just want to know... like wanting to know why the sky is blue and the grass is green" I reply back sarcastically.

"Are you and Nate a couple or something?" he asks ignoring my response.

"That's none of your business," I'm fuming, what a prick, "Why the sudden interest all of a sudden, eh? Because someone showed an interest, other then you... is that why alarm bells are ringing or is it because you're jealous?"

He's silent.

"You're jealous of Nate, your brother? Because he asked me out for drinks..." I laugh.

"My brother has a way with women Fred," Jack says, "Especially with my women."

"Well, you're in luck then Jack, I'm not his woman and I certainly am not yours..." I walk towards the front door and he follows, "I'd like you to leave please."

"Fred," Jack begins.

"Just go... let's not make this worse then it already is," I open the door and Jack walks out, he turns around to face me but I don't give him a chance to speak. I close the door and hopefully he gets the hint.

Have You Ever

CHAPTER TWO

... Just wished you took your time in the rain?

"Yes, she is my sister," I confirm to Jack, he nods. I turn away from him, I better just cut my losses and go back in.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asks, surprised.

"Back in," I say.

"But why?" he asks puzzled, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, nothing that I don't already know," I reply, not looking up at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks touching my arm as I try to escape.

"For someone I've just met, you ask a whole lot of questions," I say, because he does and he's making me nervous.

"Well, try not to be so secretive then," he replies. He's still holding my arm and I look at him and he lets me go, "So, what is it you already know?"

I decide whether I tell the truth in it's purest form, where I disclose a part of me I have never shared with anyone else or go with another lie. Should I go with risk or stay safe in the acknowledgement that I can't be hurt. I can't decide.

"Is it so hard to open up?" he asks after a long pause.

"Yes," I reply.

"Okay, let's trade? It's only fair," he compromises but I still feel like I'm being backed into the corner. "A bit of info between us, what's said, stays between us.  Okay, let's see-I'm one of five brothers, I'm the middle child. I like spending my weekends with my grandmother, she has amazing stories from when she was digging for Victory in World War II and other things and because she refuses to go into a home for the elderly, it's my duty to take care of her. I like water sports and water theme parks, so you could say I'm a big kid." He grins.

My heart does a little flip when he talks about his grandmother, it's endearing and utterly sweet.

"So, tell me somethings about you?" he asks.

I exhale, undecided, can I really trust this bloke? What the hell, I haven't taken a risk in forever, "My sister and I have a complex relationship, by complex- she's a bitch. The last time I saw her, she broke my boyfriend and I up and stole him away from me.  She's older then me by six minutes and has always made me aware of that fact.  She's attention seeking and everyone seems to be far more interested in her, then me- so if you'll excuse my abruptness earlier, that was what that was about."

There's silence and I'm feeling like I've laid my soul bare to this complete stranger.

"Thanks for the news flash there... but I didn't really want to know about your sister" he says, "I wanted to know about you."

"Me? But I told you about me," I reply confused.

"No, your sister is a bitch- I get that, no disrespect to you but what kind of sister is she anyway.  You're much better off without her. I wanted to know something about you Frederica."

"What do you want to know?" I reply, taken aback by his words- he's the first person in a bloody long time that just doesn't give a shit about her.

"Your favourite music, your favourite things, anything... the only two things I know about you are one; your name is Frederica, which by the way is much more sexy then Fred and two; you're a baker." Jack asks patiently.

Did he just say my name is sexy, I have to tell myself to calm down before I become a pile of mush at his feet.

"I love the smell of coffee in the morning and I love long walks on the beach, even though I haven't seen the beach in a very long time. I love rock and roll music, something I've been teased about since I was a young kid and I realise how hungry I am right now," I say the last bit more for myself then to him.

He smiles, "Do you wanna grab a bite to eat?"

I'm about to reply but I'm stunned by the gale force wind and the rain showers.  It was Summer only moments ago, what's going on? We make a beeline for the front door of the exhibition and as I'm climbing the steps, I miss one and hit my head on the banister on the way down and then it's black.

***

I don't know how long I've been out of it, but I know that my head really hurts. As I come to, I realise there are about five faces staring down at me and I honestly feel like one of those bodies on those shows where they dissect and prod you for scientific purposes.  I wince at the light.  I can hear the mutter of voices debating on whether to take me to hospital and get checked out or to leave me lying there and get a medic instead.

"Seriously guys, stop fussing over me... I'm fine," I say to everyone within hearing distance.

"You have a bloody big bruise Fred," Charlotte points out.

"I'll live, besides people have lived with far worse," I reply, trying to get up but am only nudged back down.

"I think we need to take her to the hospital," that's Jack voice I hear saying.

"Seriously guys, I'm fine," I say again but am ignored.

"Well Frederica, you won't mind it if we bring you there for peace of mind then?" he assures me.

"I'll take her," everyone seems to chime in.

"I'll go myself, thank you very much," I say proudly.

"You're so stubborn Fred, at least one of us will take you and then take you home," I hear Toni comment.

"I'll take her," it's Jack again, "And I'll take care of her, besides Charlotte you have this exhibition and your need your mates around for support."

There's silence, just plenty of nodding. Suddenly, I'm in Jack's arms being ushered into the back of a black taxi and heading off to the hospital. He doesn't say anything to me on the ride there, just strokes my head and my arm, it's comforting and a little bit arousing, if I'm honest. I'm checked out by the doctor and am told after a few hours of waiting for the results of CT scans, that I'm fine. Just a bit of bruising to the head but it should go down in a few days. I walk to the taxi rank and get into a black taxi, Jack follows suit.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, after we settle into the back seat.

"Hungry," I reply, "You?"

"Same, you got any food in your house?" he asks.

"I don't think so," I reply.

Jack leans into the driver and says something and the taxi driver turns around.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Going to grab a takeaway and then we're heading back to yours," he smiles.

Jack orders mostly everything on the menu at Nandos and we take a taxi back to the house.  If this were another night, it would be date night but unfortunate or fortunate for me, depending on how you look at things, he comes home with me and we share the food out on the living room rug. He even paid for the taxi and the food, so really, it feels like a date night.

"Have you seen any of my sister's films?" I ask Jack, who has just popped an olive into his delectable mouth.

"Honestly, I saw one, it was the rom-com a few years back when I was with a girlfriend at the time... it was alright, typical rom-coms as they are, I'm more an action guy. How about you, you like rom-coms?" Jack leans back on his arms.

"I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't love them, they're all different just the same formula. What's your favourite film?" I ask tepidly.

"That's a very good question, just like, what's your favourite song, I can never decide- let me think," I watch as his brows furrow, "300, that's one of my favourite movies... it's a guy's movie, have you seen it? What did you think?"

"Yeah, I saw it," I say, only at the pressure of Ronan who has a complete crush on Gerald Butler, "It was a testosterone packed film, great effects though."

"Yeah, that was what I thought... how about you?"

"Me, well... that one's easy... Charlie & The Chocolate Factory... the original, not the done up version by Tim Burton, err, that's scary as hell and any kid who would have seen that, I would be surprised if they didn't have nightmares," I quip.

"You really are a foodie, aren't you?" he whispers, leaning forward.

"Foodie, as in, I just love food?" I answer his question, with another question. The conversation between us, just flows naturally.

"Yeah, not only do you have your own bakery business but you love foodie films too, it's cute," he smiles cheekily.

"Cute? Well, I've never been called cute before," I laugh to myself, more embarrassment then anything.  Cute is something you call a baby, or a dog or a fluffy toy. I am not cute. 

"You know you look beautiful when you blush like that," he says.

I look up and see that he's watching me, I look down and find the garlic bread staring back at me.

"Do you want a cup of tea or something?" I say, dusting myself off and standing up too quickly, that I almost tilt forwards, luckily, he had me in his grip and his head is literally centimeters away from mine.  His eyes are, wow. And suddenly, he's leaning towards me and I can feel his breathe and feel the enigma of his lips coming towards mine.  He touches my lips with his, his lips are as soft as petals and oh wow, he leans in closer and it's more then a fantasy but oh no... in walks Ronan and Toni and they've caught me lip locking... shortly afterwards, Jack makes his excuses and leaves and I'm left standing there like a complete lemon with two of my drunk flat mates winking at me.