The Reluctant Millie Bright

Chapter Eight

Foundations

The look in Millie's eyes said it all, she was scared.  His heart sank knowing that she had been put through hell and high water and he, he had just stood back like a helpless spectator.  He questioned God.  Wondered why he would punish her?  Why could he not punish him?  He deserved it.  Why punish such a beautiful, kind and spirited woman, his woman.  Why could God not punish him? 

He held Millie in his arms, she was seeking his warmth, as she burrowed in deeper and he held on tight, not willing to let go.  He still could not erase the images of the bite from her calf and the horror upon her face.  He would do anything to appease her of her suffering, the trauma she had faced in the last couple of weeks whilst vacationing with him, the trauma he caused when he didn't listen, when he was too goddamn big headed to acknowledge, she had been pregnant with his child.  He was infuriated with himself and he had no one to blame but himself.  So, be it.  He made a promise to himself that he would make amends.  He would set down their foundations together, they would start a new.  A fresh start.  He would no longer tie her down and if there was a day when she wanted to go, he would let her.  He didn't want to keep her against her will, not anymore.  He was tired of those tactics, those games.  If she went, he would deal with it.  He would. 

He heard her crying into his t-shirt and he could do nothing but console her, "Let it out Mills, let it out sweetheart, let it out."

She bunched up his t-shirt as the tears fell, like sullen rivers down her cheeks but he held on to her.  He knew there was a long way to go before she could smile again and he was determined that he would be that person, that man who would. 

Millie was motionless.  Liam knew she had fallen asleep and so, very gently he carried her towards her bedroom.  Laid her gently onto the four poster bed and covered her with a silken throw, as he turned to leave, she grabbed hold of his arm and very gently spoke, "Please stay with me, I don't want to be alone."

He simply nodded, took off his shoes and lay beside her.  She voluntarily went into his arms and fell asleep instantly.  Liam stayed awake, listened to her breathing.  Contemplating.  Ccontemplating a life without her and wondering how she could have evaded him.  She had always been in the back of his thoughts, the time that they had been separated wasn't a life at all.  He never forgot about her, never.  He loved her.  The realisation stunned him.  He loved her.  Usually he would be scared of the notion, but deep inside a glow spread around his heart, in his chest and he was left feeling wholesome, content.  Eventually, he fell asleep with her in his arms.

Millie looked around her and all there was, was the tranquil blue waters of the Caribbean and as she was floating in the shallow waters, she could see the little fish scuttling in shoals around her, a technicolour flash speeding around, creating a frisson of colour like a rainbow in the waters.  She looked around and saw bottle nose dolphins flying out of the waters away from her, their joyous chorus as they played around, the spray of the water drenching her hair.  She could only laugh and want to join in... a sharp black fin pointing skywards was zooming straight for her and she fought back a scream as she knew all too well, what it was... a shark.  As it approached her, it opened it's jaws, ready to snap, not before she saw Liam's body bundled inside, did she scream from the top of her lungs and lunged forwards...

The scream jolted Liam out of sleep and he immediately woke up to Millie thrashing in his arms, she was sweating.  God, she was sweating and he gently woke her up from her nightmare, "Millie, sweetheart, you're in safe hands, wake up."  She continued to thrash and her fist pummelled into his jaw without hesitation.  She woke up immediately, her eyes riveting back to reality and she looked wide eyed at Liam.  He was nursing his jaw, she had quite a punch on her. 

"Oh my God, did I hurt you?" she asked visibly shaken, as she touched his jaw.

"I'll live," Liam said, stroking the side of his face, "It was a bad dream Mills."

"It was awful Liam, awful.  I can't... the shark... it... it had you... I was trying to..." and Millie dissolved in a sea of tears, "I don't know... what to.. do."

Liam leaned forward and she was in his arms again, he was stroking her hair and calming her down with soothing words.  It was her that drew away from him and stared at him, stared at him with longing eyes and so help him, he could only do what was inside him.  He touched his lips to hers and she clung on, what was meant to be a soft kiss, spewed into a passionate embrace.  The heat between them was molten, hot and magnetic.  Millie held on for dear life, as Liam deepened the kiss, he was drugged, fueled on this crazy insane longing he'd kept buried for her.  Now, it was taking free reign over him and he rode the wave of intense pleasure. 

"Mills," Liam said drawing away, out of breathe, head swimming with thoughts only of Millie, "Do you want this? Tell me if you don't and I'll stop."

"No, I want this... I've never wanted anything more," Millie said, her eyes shone with determination.

That was all Liam needed to hear, as he gently peeled away her clothing, kissing her already swollen lips, trailing kisses from her neck, down her collar bone to the valley of her breasts.  His eyes feasted on her breasts, so round, so ripe, all for him.  Taking one of her breasts in his hand, he caressed her, touched her in the way she wanted to be touched and the only way he knew how.  His mouth hungry, took her nipple and he sucked gently.  He heard her moans, as he made his way down further to her inner core, lathering kisses down to her apex, "Open up your legs for me sweetheart."

Her legs parted and he began kissing her, separated the folds with his fingers as he seeked to soothe her clitoris with his tongue, he had missed the womanly taste of her and it was nothing like how he had replayed over and over in his head.  He licked his finger and gently probed the opening, her moans escalating as he watched his Millie coming to.  His mouth found the soft yet hard nub of her clitoris as she arched skywards, her orgasm reaching the hilt.  God, she was beautiful.  He increased the speed of his finger, pounding her and he willed himself not to come at the sight of her.  God, she was beautiful.  Her core muscles convulsed around him and he heard her come.  She was putty in his hands. He kissed his way back up to her, feeling the shudders emanating from her and almost missed her whispered thank you.

"You don't have to thank me Mills," Liam said, kissing her lips and the hollow of her neck.

She grabbed his t-shirt, drawing it to her and whispered, "I want you Liam... I want you inside me... please."

It was all she needed to say, he took off his t-shirt in one fluid motion and discarded his jeans and watched with wide eye amusement as Millie's eyes rounded on his manhood.  I hope she could take him, when he'd taken her with his mouth and finger, she was tight.  She surprised him, by taking him into her mouth and he almost came there and then, her mouth hot lava working it's fluid motion up and down his length.  He willed himself not to come, not to even go there, not until he was ready and inside her, "I've got to get a condom Mills."

"I'm on the pill," she shot out.

"If you're sure Mills," it was barely a whisper.

"I'm sure," she nodded and that was all Liam needed.  He kissed her, giving her time to change her mind and to give him time to get his bearings in the right order, "Liam, I want you now..."

Liam eased himself on his hands and slowly entered her. He gave her time to accommodate his size and he slowly paced himself and before he knew it, he was pounding into her soft sweet centre.  He told himself to be gentle, her calf was still recovering and he didn't want to injure or hurt her, she arched her back towards him and clutched him to her.  He kissed her lovingly and she shook out her orgasm, he thrust into her harder before she gasped out.  He could finally let go, as he moved inside her, he too could feel his oncoming orgasm and finally, he let go.  He collapsed on the bed beside her, trying to catch his breathe.  He could see her looking at him, he was spent.  He drew her to him and they both drifted to sleep.

***

It was Liam who woke up first, it was the middle of the night, awoken by the howling of the winds.  Millie was cuddled in the crook of his arm, her hand nestled on his flat stomach.  They had made love once after that, much slower that time.  He wanted her to know that he could do slow and sensual and when she became undone in his hands, he almost lost the it.  He looked at the clock, it was four in the morning and he was hungry.  He looked around for his jeans when Millie woke up with a sudden yawn.

"Good morning sleepy head," he smiled at her.

"Morning, how long was I out?"  she said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. 

"A couple of hours, maybe more,"  Liam said, moving the hair from her face.

"I'm starving, have we got any food?" Millie asked.

Liam clutched his hand over his heart in a satire sort of way, "A woman after my own heart, I was thinking the exact same thing, stay here and I'll get us something."  He left the bed, picking up his jeans and putting them on and headed for the kitchen, he paused at the doorway and went back to the bed, kissed Millie bang on the lips and strode off. 

Ten minutes later, he strode back into her bedroom carrying a breakfast tray full of goodies and laid it on her bed, there, they devoured the contents of salt fish and plantain, fresh fruit salad, fresh coconut juice and a few of Patty's specialities.  Liam watched Millie as she sunk her teeth into fresh mango.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" she asked, tilting her head sideways.

"Because you have a bit of rice at the corner of your mouth?" Liam quipped, as Millie touched her mouth and noticed there wasn't anything there.

"You're mean," Millie said, rolling her eyes.

"Am not," Liam laughed sheepishly, "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm feeling good, better. You?" Millie asked.

Liam smiled, "I'm good, I'm better."

"So... what do you plan to do in the next couple of days or when are you planning to go back?" Millie asked.

"I'm not sure, whatever you want to do Mills.  I've told my agent I'm taking indefinite leave... so I'm not sure when I'll be going back to work," Liam said, picking up a grape and popping it into his mouth.

"But you love your job," Millie said in surprise.

"It's just a job at the end of the day Millie, it'll still be there when or if I return... it's not going anywhere,"  Liam replied.

"But, what are you going to do in the meantime?" she was absolutely clueless.

"I was thinking- only of course- if it was okay with you... if we could just hang out.  The last couple of weeks have put my life into perspective.  I don't want to be doing the same old thing over and over again, I just..."

"What are you trying to say Liam?" Millie asked, interrupting him.

"I don't want to go back to the rat race, I want to just be with you," he said.

"With me? Are you feeling pity for me?" Millie said disgusted, "Because I don't want your pity Liam Blake, I don't."

Liam exhaled, he had to be patient.  She obviously had gotten the wrong end of the stick, "That's not what I'm saying at all Mills-"

"Then what are you saying?  That because I gave my body to you, you want more? And the only way you can have more is if I stay with you in paradise?"  Millie was angry and he knew it.

"I refuse to argue with you Mills," Liam said.

"Why not? Why won't you argue with me?" Millie demanded.

"Because..." he just didn't want to admit it, he couldn't let it out like this, not in the middle of an argument.  A one sided argument.

"I'm right aren't I?  You just want my body, that's all you've ever wanted..."  Millie yelled.

"Yes, I want your body Mills... but I also want you. I want to laugh with you, I want to cry with you, I want to take your suffering away from you. God, I wish I could.  I hate seeing you this way but I want everything Millie. I want you in every way possible," Liam said, his hands raking through his hair, "I'm such an idiot... I've been in love you all this time and I've only just realised." Liam laughed because he knew he was coming across as a mad man.

Millie was speechless, she was looking at him with new eyes.

"I know I'm coming across as a complete lunatic," he said, looking intently at her, "But there's no denying it anymore, I'm undeniably, a hundred percent in love with you and there's just no going back for me on this.  And I know, I haven't been the greatest guy to you.  I have been the least deserving of you.  I should have treated you better but I can't change the past... I can only change the future.  Millie please, say something."

He was met with silence.

"I need some time Liam, please leave me alone," Millie said, turning away from him.

What could he do but do as she wished, he walked away with a heavy heart as he closed the door behind him and probably on the woman he loved, more then life itself.

The Reluctant Millie Bright

Chapter Seven

Consequences

Millie lost track of the days she spent in St Lucia.  She had become lost in her thoughts a lot of the time too.  Spending most of her days at the beach, staring out into the vast ocean, mesmerised that it could still take her breathe away after so many trips down here from Liam's house.  Millie could feel the sand between her toes and the smell of salt lingering in the air and then suddenly, she could hear screaming up ahead, in front of her..  Her head snapped towards the ocean and fifty metres away, there was someone thrashing around in the water. Without thinking, she ran towards the water and dove in. 

Liam had grown used to Millie's pattern of sorts in St Lucia.  It had been three weeks since they touched down and though the island provided sanctuary and a place for them to be themselves in an unobtrusive manner, the surroundings seemed to have separated them, even further.  Instead of drawing them closer, they seemed even more apart. He tried inviting her on road trips around the coast, introduce her to his few close friends on the island and even tried opening up to her, but she had refused his invites.  Millie just wanted to walk on the beach and be by herself and so he watched and he reluctantly let her.  Something was eating at him and he didn't know what it was, or how to fix it.  He'd waited patiently for her but he was fed up with being patient. All this time, he wanted to kiss her, make her see his side of the story, anything. He was frustrated.   He got up from the bench he had been sitting on and walked through the halls and that was when he heard the screaming. He knew immediately that it was coming from the  beach and as he opened the doors and rushed onto the second floor balcony, he saw Millie running towards the sound, but what Millie didn't see was the shark fins in the water. Liam didn't even think about it, he bolted to the beach. 

Millie dove into the water, she hadn't swam in a long time and she couldn't think of the last time she did, but like riding a bicycle, you never forget.  She swam as fast as she could towards the screaming.  Her denim shorts weighing her down as she swam, she was reaching them only to realise that the water around her wasn't as crystalline blue as she had imagined.  It was murky red, crimson and the alarm bells started ringing.  She stopped in mid-stroke and looked around her and she saw a woman being thrashed about in the water, like a rag doll. The shock was written all over her face, she was the colour of the puffy white clouds above and as her eyes touched upon Millie's, it was as if she had seen through her. She was obviously bleeding out. From the corner of her eye, she saw a black fin pop out of the water and disappear.  Please God.  Please.  Millie pleaded.  She couldn't look into the water because it had turned a deep dark red.  She looked towards the woman, her eyes unmoving as she bobbed up and down like a champagne cork. What should she do? Dear Lord, please have mercy. Please... a thousand millions daggers shot up her leg and she was dragged under.  She could think of nothing but death, pain and that she would never see Liam again.  

Liam was on the open water with three lifeguards and a doctor on board the boat.  They were racing towards the dark red patch of water in the midst of what was beauty in paradise. Not anymore.  He saw Millie, the fright written all over her face.  Her red blouse soaked in blood and he was almost there, almost... but almost wasn't close enough, Liam's worst fears were confirmed; Millie disappeared from the surface. Liam's heart jumped to his throat as he screamed out her name and wanted to jump in, but was held back by the life guards. He was frantic, more then frantic he was crazy and he had no control over it. None whatsoever.  He searched the cloudy waters for any signs of her, nothing. He prayed to a God, he hadn't prayed to in a long time and suddenly, one of the lifeguards spotted her on the other side of the boat, she was sputtering water and without thinking, he dove in, helped her up into the waiting arms of the lifeguards and immediately saw the gross bloody mark on her leg.  

***

The white sterile room, was plain but it was the level of medical care Liam was paying for that was important. He had been sitting vigil at Millie's bedside for a couple of hours now.  The doctors had sedated her and the image of her being pulled out of the ocean kept replaying in his mind and he couldn't get the image of her calf out of his mind either.  Luckily the shark hadn't penetrated too hard or bitten off her leg but it had left bite marks.  Luckily they had gotten her out of the water, into a chopper and flown her to the nearest hospital.  She was stable and was now in intensive care.  She had lost some blood but as the doctor had put it, had a lucky escape.  As for the woman, her severed head had been floating a few metres away from the boat and it took a lot of courage not to think about what could have happened to Millie.

The sunlight escaped the blinds, it was a beautiful morning.  Millie woke up from a haze and a bad dream where she had come face to face with one of nature's dangerous predators, the great white shark.  When she opened her eyes and her eyes focused on her leg, she let out a yelp, awakening her visitor who was slumped against a chair beside her.  It was Liam and this had to be a dream, what the hell was going on? She tried getting up but her energy reserves were zapped and she felt like either she had been drinking heavily the night before, or she hadn't eaten in a very long time.  Liam was awake now, gently settling her back into the bed.  

"Mills, calm down.  You're okay," he said groggily. 

"What happened?" Millie asked, there was silence and she asked again, "What happened?!" she almost yelled. 

"You were bitten by a shark, a great white they say... but something must have happened... or..." Liam tried to finish his sentences, but he was finding it hard.  The emotion caught in his throat. 

"Did it take my leg? Can I walk?"  Millie asked, searching his face for answers. 

"You were lucky Mills, so lucky... it was a bite mark, you have tissue damage that could take a couple of months to recover but there's no nerve damage, no nothing.  You had a lucky escape," Liam said, taking her hands in his and feeling that they were cold. 

"Is the woman okay?" Millie asked, not caring for herself. 

It took a while for Liam to register what she was asking and he took a deep breathe and shook his head.  Millie nodded in acknowledgement.  And then there was silence. 

***

Two weeks later, Millie was discharged from hospital and was flown by chopper back to Liam's house on St. Lucia. Of course, he had fussed over her and made all the arrangements for her comfort.  He had carried her into the house where they met Patty his house keeper at the door, she opened her arms wide and took her into a bear hug. 

"How are you doing my darlin'?" she asked in her St. Lucian accent, "My my, it's glad to have you back, I've missed having you keep me company. Liam, you better sit her down here and I'll cook her up a storm and fatten her up." 

Liam did as he was told and sat her down on the couch and slid a foot stool to support her leg, whilst it recuperated and he disappeared out the door.

"I'm fine thanks Patty, how are you doing?" Millie asked. 

"Darlin' I'm good good, don't worry about me.  I'm made of stern stuff... but my darlin', poor Liam he's been wracking his mind about you.  He's thinking that this trip was a bad idea, that everything was a bad idea.  He can't seem to get past that every decision he's made, has resulted in you going into harm's way. Poor boy, thinking that.  Of course, the Lord only puts us through things he know we can survive.  And God works in mysterious ways, however hard them ways be, or how we take 'em.  You just hang in there," Patty said, pointing a wooden spoon towards the doorway, "I think that man there, has realised something... and that something is that you are important to him... and he's gonna be trying his damn hardest to please you.  You hear what I'm saying darlin'?"

Millie digested that said information as Liam walked back into the room with her hospital bag, "What are you two ladies talking about?"

"Never you mind Liam, this is girl's talk.  Why don't you make yourself useful and go down to the market and get me some salt fish and plantain. Leave us girls to catch up." Patty said, leading Liam out of the door.  When she heard Liam leave by the front door, she sat down beside Millie, "You look like you need to get some stuff off your chest my darlin'- why don't you pretend I'm one of your girlfriends, eh?" 

And so, with complete ease Millie began talking, getting everything out in the morning.  Leaning towards someone who wasn't in the picture, who could clearly see out of the box. After everything was spoken, Patty didn't say anything.  She just looking at Millie. 

"You've been through a lot, but so have a lot of people, but that's not to say that your problems aren't any less important.  Some people make mistakes, more then others and no one is perfect, no matter how popular they are, how many films they've made or the degree of money they got.  Trust me.  Regardless of that, we all are the same.  Life happens, you got to roll with the punches but I know that Liam loves you, though he don't know it yet.  Y'know you are the first woman he brought here to this place, says a lot about the man.  At first, I thought it strange that he hasn't brought a woman home, I was starting to think the man was gay but when you walked through the door, I thought what a stunning little thing you are."

"What do you think I should do?" Millie asked bravely.  Because she didn't know what to do. Everything that had happened in such a short amount of time, had happened with Liam in it. Was it a sign that they were meant to be together? 

"I say, you should talk to him.  The poor guy has been worried sick about you, I only have to look at him to know that," Patty said, clutching Millie's hand, "If you don't talk to him, all of this... of what you've been though, would have been for nothing."

"Why do you know so much?" Millie asked. 

"It's not about knowing darlin', it's about doing things right and going with your heart," Patty said. 

"How do I know what's in my heart and what's in my head?" Millie asked. 

"You will know... Liam is a good man, take my word for it darlin'. You just have to wait and see,"  Patty said, resuming with chopping the vegetables.

The front door opened and Liam walked in with the ingredients Patty needed, setting it on the table and sitting next to Millie, "How are you doing?" He asked. 

"I'm okay," Millie said shyly, observing him, "How are you?"

"I'm okay, if you're okay. I did want to ask you about your plans... what you wanted to do, whether you wanted to stay here or to go back home, provided that you had the care..." Liam began.  He couldn't express himself as well.  He was nervous, but he didn't want to let on that he was.  He was hoping she wanted to stay regardless of what had happened in the last two weeks, "Whatever you want." 

"I guess, staying it would be fine.  Just don't let me anywhere near the water..." Millie said, taking a gulp. 

"I won't let you anywhere near it, unless you tell me otherwise," Liam said comfortingly, "Is there anything you need? Anything I can get you?"

"Actually, there is one thing," Millie asked. 

"And what's that?" Liam looked at her.

"Could you give me a hug and tell me that everything will be okay?" Millie asked.  

She didn't need to ask, he just did... he was so worried about her, that was what he had been wanting to do but was afraid that his actions would be seen as aggressive.  And as he hugged her in his arms, and she held on tight, he wanted to tell a great deal of things but there would be a time and place for that.  He would put off his next project, even his career, for her and her recovery. Because at the end of the day, she was all that mattered to him. 

The Reluctant Millie Bright

Chapter Six

Sunnier Skies

"We have eight hours or so before we land in St. Lucia.  Why don't you start from the beginning and tell me how you obtained those?"  Liam said leaning towards Millie, his gaze diverted to the scars on her person. 

She may be comfortably seated but opening up was a different story. 

"It depends on what you want to know," Millie said, trying to skirt around the subject.

"Let's not be coy here Millie.  I want to know the truth," Liam said.

"But why? You never cared about the truth when I went to see you.  And all of a sudden, you want to be my new best friend." Millie said sarcastically as she avoided his gaze and stared out the window.

"When did you come to see me?" Liam said puzzled.

Millie laughed.  It wasn't funny.  She had to laugh because life was an obstacle.  A mess.  She laughed because what else could she say, or do.  She laughed because, maybe this was fate's cruel joke.  She couldn't stop laughing.

Liam looked worried, confused even.  He just didn't understand anything and Millie was coming across completely out of character which was scaring him, "I don't think this is a funny situation."

"Oh, but it is," Millie laughed, "It is."

"Enlighten me, because I don't find it very funny," Liam scowled.

"Well, it's funny because after all that's happened- now you're concerned... now you want to know... when, quite frankly, there is not much to know. That is what is funny," Millie smiled.  She was probably coming across as a complete lunatic but she just didn't care.

"Millie, you're speaking in riddles.  What on earth are you talking about?" Liam asked. 

"What am I talking about? What on earth are you talking about?" Millie said.

Liam looked at the woman who was sitting in front of him.  Not only was she being difficult, there was sadness in her eyes and he didn't like it one bit.  It was sunny outside and they hadn't incurred any turbulence.  He could play this game if he had to, they were going to be in the air for eight hours, there was no escape-unless you called escape, the bedroom on the other side of where they were sitting but he tried not to think about that.  He couldn't.  How could he think about sleeping with her when it was obvious that those scars were disturbing him.

"What? Don't want to answer my questions? Don't like being interrogated?"  Millie asked.

"I don't mind answering questions, if I have answers to them Millie," Liam said, taking a sip of his water, "I can see your reluctance in answering my questions leaves me with the assumption that whatever led to those scars was something pretty horrific, something you don't want to deal with. Not with me perhaps, not now, maybe not ever but I'm worried about, I really am.  Whether you choose to believe me or not," Liam said looking Millie in the eye.

There was another silence. A silence that seemed to stretch.  A silence that was both meaningful and full of anxiety.  Liam could feel the vulnerability emanating from Millie, he wanted to help her.  Understand her, if only she would let him in.  When he looked up at her, her eyes watered. 

"The day I came to see you at your apartment, it was the day you were flying out on location, do you remember?" Millie asked.  Her face looked solemn, which made his insides go funny.

"Yeah, I do," he responded, "What about that day?"

"I stood in your apartment urging you to listen to me because I had something to tell you.  You wanted to talk once you touched down on the other side and I needed to tell you in person but you just didn't care about me or our baby. You just cared about getting out of New York and on a plane far away from me!" Millie's voice rose but she stopped to take a breathe.

"I do care about you Millie, that's why I offered to call you when I touched down. I'm sorry I couldn't listen to you there and then, I had to be somewhere," Liam said and it suddenly dawned on him, "Baby?"

Millie ignored his last question, she just wasn't ready to touch on that just yet.  She had to get whatever guilt, anger out of the way, "Yes, it was obvious back then that your work took priority over me. Your girlfriend?!"

"Millie you got it all wrong," Liam began but he was shut down by Millie's fury.

"No, you got it wrong!" She pointed at him, "I found out I was pregnant that very morning and in my utter joy and absolute happiness I thought I would share it with you because we made this life inside of me. Sure I was a little nervous to tell you, you only ever told me once that you deeply cared for me... never that you loved me.  But on that hunch, I thought,  if he's only mentioned once that he cares for me then it must mean he loves me.  But how stupid and naive was I?  I wanted to tell you then, because it made me happy and I hoped it would make you happy too but life doesn't work that way for me.  It never did, when it came to you.  When push came to shove, I thought maybe you would have changed, you would let me in or that there would be a place for me somewhere in your hectic life but that day, pretty much told me everything.  And when you finished on location, I thought I would hear from you but I didn't and that was pretty much the nail on the coffin."

"Millie please... listen to me... I was an arsehole back then.  I admit, I was too caught up in my work and I apologise but you should have told me, you should have tried harder," He was met with a slap.

"Don't you fucking dare turn this on me you arsehole, don't you fucking dare!" there were daggers in Millie's eyes, "I tried to tell you but you kept telling me that we'd talk after you landed... that wasn't good enough for me."

"So what happened to our baby then?" Liam asked.

"I was five months along when I was attacked,"  Millie said, wiping the tear that rolled down her cheek, "I was so tired being on my feet for so long that my boss sent me home.  I didn't want to because I needed the money but he said, 'I was no good to him, if I was asleep on my feet' - so he sent me home.  It was cold and I didn't have enough money for a taxi or a bus, so I walked it.  I walked and walked and then I was cornered. There was no one around.  I gave up my belongings willingly and then, they must have thought I had something in my jacket because of my bump. I tried to close my jacket because I was cold but I don't remember much after that... it was kind of hazy after that.  I remember waking up in a pool of blood and someone reassuring me that everything was going to be alright.  I think I blacked out then.  I later found myself in a hospital bed and was told by the physician, the doctor that I had lost her. I had lost my baby girl," Millie said, her head in her hands as all the grief, the guilt ran through her.

Liam unbuckled his seat belt and brought Millie into his arms, she didn't push him away.  She cried even harder into him and he hugged her, for dear life.  It was a shock to the system, hell, it was more then a shock.  Whilst he had been living his life with numerous film projects, she had been struggling to support herself and what, because of his pig-headiness.  His greed, his selfishness.  He couldn't forgive himself.  His Millie was far from being alright, she was a mess.  He need only hear her crying to know that she hadn't gotten over the traumatic experience and the loss of their child.  If he had just stayed and listened to her, they would be going on holidays with their daughter. He would never forgive himself.  He wanted to jam his fist into the wall or smash his head against it.  He was angry more with himself then Millie.  How could he be mad at her?  She had done her duty by trying to tell him but he was a fool for not listening.  God, he would make it up to her, he would spend his life trying to make it up to her.  And as he was comforting her, he already knew that he would. -

The pilot spoke through the intercom to tell them that they had landed in beautiful tropical Saint Lucia.  Millie had fallen asleep in Liam's arms after crying.  He nudged her gently and she woke up, the look on her eyes reminded him of a baby.  She looked so innocent, so vulnerable and something inside of him kick started.  The feeling in the pit of his stomach was unfamiliar, "We're here Millie."

"Here?" she said dazed.

"Saint Lucia, remember?" he whispered.

She nodded, "How long do I have to stay here?"

He was taken aback by her question, she wanted to be rid of his company already.  He was disappointed, he hoped that they could re-patch where they left off, he wasn't going to push her as she was like glass in his rough hands.  He was going to give her a choice and they would take each day as it comes, ignoring her question he touched her face, "Let's take it each day as it comes, if you hate it here, you can take the jet back home."

She somehow nodded, reluctant but willing to take a teeny weeny bit chance on him.

***

Millie had taken a shower and dried her hair, slipped into a tea dress and flip flops.  The weather was tropical hot, she wanted to wear a bikini but her body as well as her confidence wasn't the same after the attack and losing Lucy.  She had decided to call her daughter Lucy, because she wanted to keep Liam in the frame.  If it was only the letter 'L'.  When Liam had driven them from the airport to his massive hilly mountain mansion over looking the azul sea, he had said that St Lucia was named after Saint Lucy of Syracuse, the first French colonizers.  What a coincidence.  She wasn't about to share that, she didn't want to think that there could be a future for them, because how could there be.

She walked out onto the balcony where a table full of fresh fruit and food were laid out, her stomach grumbled, only realising now that she hadn't eaten anything on the flight and hadn't had breakfast.  She was famished.

"Don't be a stranger, help yourself," came the voice behind her.  She spun around and saw him leaning again the door, clad in khaki linen shorts and a white polo shirt, "You must be starving."

"Thanks," she sat down and helped herself.

"You can take today to get settled, to sleep.  If you want I can show you around, there's an infinity pool downstairs or a gym?" She could tell he was walking around eggshells around her.

"You don't have to do that, y'know," she said looking at him.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Try to be extra nice to me, walking on eggshells around me," she said, tucking into some guava.

He walked towards her and sat down, he waited for both her hands before he took them in his and she had a startled expression written all over her face, "I don't want to hurt you anymore Millie.  I am such an idiot, a dick.  I've been thinking, whatever I said, I did. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do.  Please, just let me make it up to you. I want to share your pain, I want to be there for you. Just... just take each day with me...and I promise you, I won't ever..."

"Please let's not talk about this... I just want to be someone other then me for the day or days or however long.  Coming out to you, telling you has been a relief.  I just want to move on," Millie said.

Liam nodded in understanding, "Of course, take however long you need. I'll be here for you."

"As my friend, I hope," Millie smiled.

Liam didn't like the word 'friend' but he was willing to take it and perhaps in time, persuade her differently.

The Reluctant Millie Bright

Chapter Five

Scars

Liam found Millie sitting on the bench by the door.  He'd almost ran past her, heading outside.  She looked distant.  She hadn't even noticed he had walked up to her, until he sat down next to her.  She was shivering, he took off his tuxedo jacket and planted it around her shoulders.  She leaned against him and drew her closer to him.  Pulling out his phone, he called his driver.  And shortly after that, she was ensconced in his arms in the back of the limo.  She didn't say anything.  But she didn't need to, she was obviously tired from the night out.  By the time they arrived in front of the hotel, she'd fallen asleep in his arms.  He didn't have the heart to wake her up, so he carried her into the hotel and up to his penthouse suite.  Once there, he went straight to the bedroom and laid her on top of the bed.  She had gone out like a light.  He wanted her to be comfortable, so he risked undressing her.  Thankfully the dress was easy to coax her out of but as he was peeling the garment away, he noticed a scar from her abdomen disappearing out into her underwear.  He also noticed other faint scars.  They hadn't been there before, he'd remembered their love sessions, some had been crazy sexy and others had been slow and sensual.  In those times, he had devoured every part of her body and now he stood, puzzled at these markings on her body.  Where did they come from? Grabbing the duvet cover, he covered her and left the room. 

The following day, Millie woke up and discovered she only had her underwear on underneath the duvet.  Her heart doubled in speed as she tried to determine whether Liam had seen the scars.  Every time she looked at them, she was reminded of the joy and then the utter terror of it all.  The attack. Lying in bed and being told of her loss and then having to piece her life back together, by herself.  She had always been by herself but with the loss of her child, she felt even more alone then ever before.  It had been a year and a half and she was still trying to piece everything together.  It was a slow process and one in which she thought she had been making progress on, until he came back into her life and now she was lying in a bed in his suite. She got up and went into the bathroom to shower.  After a few minutes, she was dressed in jeans and a jumper and she headed straight out, bag in tow.

Liam looked up from his laptop as Millie walked out already dressed for the day.  He also noticed her hand luggage and came to the assumption she was leaving him.  Well she better think again.  

"Where do you think you're going?" It wasn't meant to sound demanding but some how it had.

"I'm leaving," Millie said.

"I can see that.  But what I really want to know is why?" Liam stood up from behind the desk and strode towards her.

"I don't have to answer to you, not anymore," Millie said with confidence.

"Fine, at least answer one question and then I'll let you go," Liam said, folding his arms, "What are those scars on your body?  I don't recall seeing them before."

Millie stood frozen to the spot.  So, he had seen them.  She was an idiot to think that he hadn't, almost wishing that he'd ignored them.  How could anyone not notice them, they were grotesque.  Souvenirs from a horrific time, she was trying to get past.  She met his question with silence.

"It's okay, we can talk whilst we take the jet," Liam said walking towards her and taking her luggage from her grip.

"The jet?" Millie said, confusion written all over her face.

"Yes, the jet.  We're going to my holiday home in St. Lucia.  Whatever you need to tell me, I prefer it we didn't have all this craziness interfering. We better get going, our transportation is outside."

And with that announcement, Millie could do nothing but follow.

The Reluctant Millie Bright

Chapter Four
Charity



Liam knocked on the door and strode in.  Millie was sitting on the bed cross legged reading the paper.  It was mid-afternoon and she was wearing black pants and a t-shirt that made her look like a genie from Aladdin's lamp. They had been holed up in the suite for a day and a half now.  Millie mostly occupying the bedroom and Liam in the lounge.  They would convene for breakfast, lunch and dinner in the lounge area but spoke very little to each other.  It started to grate on Liam's nerves, he would pretend to read various manuscripts sent to him but he was secretly watching her, observing her.  She on the other hand, ignored him.  Even when she spoke on her cell phone, did she perk up a bit but when he tried to make conversation, she would knock him down.  That was going to change tonight.  Tonight they were going to a charity fundraiser together and the two boxes in his hands would be what she would wear.  He put the boxes down on the bed and saw her eyes settle on them.

"What's that?" she asked, looking straight at him.

"Open up and see," he taunted.

"Trying to buy me off I see.  Thought you would be a bit more smoother then that," she remarked, "I don't want it."

"That's fine, you can go as you are," he said leaving for the door.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

He turned around and folded his arms, "I'm glad I managed to muster some enthusiasm from you."

"Stop trying to suss me out Liam, I don't like it," she said annoyed.

"What else am I to do? If you won't even talk to me? I have to resort in trying to figure you out. What happened to the Millie I knew back in New York, huh?" Liam wondered.

Millie was quiet, she knew the answer to that but she wasn't going to ever admit it to him.

"Just be ready for seven o'clock please," Liam said and he strode out.

Through the course of the day, Millie tried to ignore the boxes but she was curious.  Curious to see what were in them, curious to know what the big deal about this fundraiser was and curious about Liam.  She was bored being couped up in this suite with him and tired of fighting him, but it had to be done, to ensure she wouldn't go down that road again.  At five thirty, her curiosity got the better of her and she slid the lids off, pulled back the tissue paper and pulled out the garment.  It was beautiful to look at and even beautiful to touch.  The colour of her shoes corresponded with the embroidered jewels around the bodice and the shoulder of her gown.  She indulged herself and took a peek at the label; Marchesa.  She was going to throw caution to the wind this evening, she was going to have a bloody good time.  When was she ever going to wear a dress like this again? She strode into the en suite bathroom and began preparations.

***

Liam looked at his watch, it was five past seven and there was still no movement from the room.  He had been dressed on time in a dark black tuxedo by one of his favourite tailors on Saville Row.  The limo was waiting downstairs to take them to the charity gala.  He took another sip of champagne, he wasn't big on champagne but he needed to do something to occupy his time whilst he waited for her.  He looked up as the twin doors opened and she walked out, stealing the breathe from him.  She was beautiful in the dress, her hair she wore bunched up to one side and her make-up was simple, understated.  He just stood there like a lemming staring at her.  Every word imaginable went through his head right there and then; beautiful, stunning, sexy, gorgeous.  He walked up to her and kissed her, she was a willing participate this time around, as he could feel her arms engage around his neck.  God, he was seriously aroused just tasting her, touching her.  If he didn't have to go to this gala, he would be peeling this bit of fabric off her and making sweet love to her. 

"We have to get going I'm afraid," he said looking down at her regrettably.  Her lips were swollen from his kiss and her eyes had the look of molten lust written all over them, "I'm making a speech tonight and I can't be late."  She nodded, understanding and he took her hand in his and led her out into the lift.

They walked through the entrance to a multitude of flash bulbs, Liam reassured her that it was for the publicity of the new wing and nothing to do with the A-list crowd that would be attending.  He guided her towards the centre where Hartley Armstrong and his wife were standing.  Frieda was wearing a black strapless dress of lace and her hand was in the crook of her husband's arm. She spun around when she saw them and smiled. Liam made introductions, not introducing Millie as a girlfriend or a friend and didn't care what assumptions they made of Millie as long as they were good ones. 

"It's lovely to meet you Millie, I can't say I've heard an awful lot about you from Liam but assuming what's written in the papers lately is true, you've definitely caught the catch of the day," Frieda snapped.

"You shouldn't believe everything you read in the papers, most of it's rubbish, written purely for entertainment purposes.  You of all people should know," Millie snapped back.  There was no way she was going to be putting up with snarky comments especially from an A-Lister.

"Ooh she's a catty one Liam, better then all those push overs you were seeing before," Freida commented.

"Just ignore her Millie, I do," Liam whispered in her ear, "Come on, let's go and sit down for dinner," he glided her away and found their table, which was one of the tables nearer the stage.  He pulled out her seat and she sat down, careful not to crease her dress, "Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight, it must have skipped my brain when I lost consciousness just staring at you." He was rewarded with a blush.

"What is your speech about tonight?" she asked, changing the subject subtly.

"That we should always invest in the children, the children are our tomorrow, they should have the best possible medical care and regard.  We should always be there for them regardless," Liam said.

Millie looked around, noting her surroundings.  She shouldn't have asked, why did she ask? She willed herself not to cry, nor to laugh in his face.  What insanity she was feeling right now.  How ludicrous this was all turning out to be.

"Are you alright?" he asked, sensing something was not quite right.

"Fine, I'm just fine... taking in my surroundings that's all," she lied but she was curious to know why it was so important to him that he invest in this, "What's so important about this charity then others?" She watched him, he shut off and when she thought he wasn't going to say anything he spoke quietly.

"I had a younger brother but he died when he was six after developing a rare form of Lymphoma, cancer of the immune system, because we were poor, we didn't have enough money and we couldn't get him the medical attention he needed.  He died and I've been a firm campaigner for him, in memory of him," Liam said, "It was my fault that he died."

"It's not your fault Liam, these things happen," Millie began but she was cut off sharply.

"No, these things do not happen Millie.  If I had had the money...," Liam began.

Millie reached out to him, "You were a boy yourself Liam, how could you even begin to think this was your fault. Please don't blame yourself, what about your parents?"

"My dad ran out on us when the going got tough and my mother, well she turned to the bottle," he said.

"I'm so sorry Liam," Millie said, threading her fingers through his.  Millie's secret lay heavy on her shoulders.  He could never find out.  She kissed him then, couldn't care about what others thought.  She could only think to comfort him.  The shuffling of people going to their tables, broke the magic of the kiss and she pulled away from him but she didn't let go of his hands.  The next few hours, they drank and  they ate and they got to know each other, without the pressure of  it all.  When it came to Liam making his speech, the butterflies in Millie's stomach were doing somersaults.  She was proud of him, more then proud.  She listened attentively to what he was saying and how he was saying it and there was the Liam she knew back in New York.  The sensitive, caring Liam.  There was an applause and he asked that everyone dig deep inside their pockets and contribute as much as they could for the cause.  He came back down  and Millie stood up and kissed him, he kissed her back slowly and as they were about to take their seats, he was being greeted by various people, dignitaries and diplomats, keen to contribute as much money as possible.  Millie excused herself and made her way to the ladies toilets.

Millie stared at her reflection in the mirror, shaking herself out of her haze. She reapplied her lipstick when she saw Frieda enter, except she had a wardrobe change and was now sporting a gold sequined dress, "Beautiful dress Frieda," Millie mustered.

Frieda looked up and smiled, "Got the wrong twin sister.  I'm Frederica.  You must be Millie, I've heard so much about you from her.  You've got her knickers in a twist and I like you already," she held out her hand, and smiled warmly towards her, "It's lovely to finally meet you."

"I'm sorry, you must get that all the time," Millie apologised.

"I'm used to it, between you and me... I'm the nicer one out of the two of us.  I do apologise about my sister, she can be a bit of a drama queen.  I thought, considering as she's a mother now, she would have calmed down a bit but she has her moments," Frederica smiled, "Artie's great though, he puts her in her place without making her feel bad, which is a great skill to have. You're here with Liam, right?" She said squeezing some lotion into her hands.

"Yes, that's right," Millie replied.

"That makes sense," Frederica smiled back.

"What makes sense?" Millie asked.

"That you would be the envy of all the single or not so single women here, he's quite a catch, well from what I've heard but you two make a great looking couple," Frederica offered.

"Oh, but we're not a couple," Millie tried to explain.

"Really? I've seen the way he looks at you and I don't think friends look at each other like that.  He kinda looks like he wants to jump your bones," Frederica quipped, "Don't worry, from what I heard from Artie, the guy hasn't seen anyone in a long time, not since he was in New York anyway, says there was someone serious there but Liam's always been married to his work, but obviously now that he's found you, things are about to change."

"Who are you here with?"  Millie asked, enjoying the conversation between the two of them.

"I'm with my husband Jack, I'll have to introduce him to you some time," Millie watched as Frederica became a different woman as she spoke happily about her husband, "It's not very often we get to have a night on the town. I love getting dressed up in a floor length gown and it's an even better excuse to see Jack in a black tie.  He's usually wearing our babies puke or overalls and working over a saw."

"Over a saw?"  Millie asked confused.

"Oh yeah, he's a carpenter, great with his hands if you know what I mean," Frederica smiled, "Are you ready?  Come on, I'll introduce you to him."

After he was congratulated by numerous society figures, acquaintances and friends, he joined Artie and Jack at the bar.

"Great speech," Jack shook his hand.

"Thanks.  How's Fred? I haven't seen her tonight,"  Liam said.

Jack pointed behind Liam, "There she is and it looks like she's got your date in tow too."

Frederica joined Jack but steered Millie towards him, "Jack, I want you to meet Millie.  I just bumped into her in the toilets.  Millie, this is my husband Jack."

They both shook hands.

"So, you're the lady who's managed to tame our Liam, eh?" Jack quipped.

"I wouldn't call it taming, we're just friends," Millie said.

"Sure, is that what they're calling it these days "friends?" You must be pretty neat friends to be kissing," Jack teased.

Liam scowled, "Leave it guys,"

"Getting touchy are we Liam?" Artie joined in the fun.

"You're going to frighten her away," Liam said through clenched teeth.

"Looks like she's about to bolt for the door," Jack laughed, looking in the direction of Millie.

"You'll have to ignore the guys Millie, they're trying to wind Liam up," Frederica rolled her eyes, "Jack, you owe me a slow dance."

"There's my cue guys, gotta dance with the Mrs," Jack said as he glided Frederica to the dance floor.

"Going to find Frieda, she's probably chewing some poor person's ear, she doesn't go out very often, so she's probably making up for lost time.  If you'll excuse me," he charmingly joked and winked at Millie as he disappeared through the crowd.

Liam turned to Millie, "Would you like to dance?"

Millie looked at him and then to the dance floor, "I don't dance."

"Seriously?" Liam said, his arm clamping around her waist, whilst the other took hold of her hand and he spun her around on the spot.  She weighed next to nothing, as he spun her around towards the dance floor and watched her face light up in glee.  He put her back on the floor and glided her around the floor, "You seem to be doing a fine job of it."

Millie nodded and stared at her feet. A few minutes later the dance was over and Liam whispered into her ear, "Would you like to call it a night?"

Millie's eyes shot up, "It's too early, I would very much like to dance some more."

"My wish is my command," he smiled, as he drew her close and spun her around the room.

***  

Millie sat the next few dances out, she watched as Liam danced with one of the elderly women sponsors around the ballroom and realised her resolve was breaking down. The ice no longer a barrier, was melting, making way for the fire that was obviously still between them.  Her eyes could not leave him.  When she stepped out of the room earlier this evening, he had simply stared at her which made her nervous, self conscious, she wondered whether she was wearing it wrong or that her hair wasn't best suited and then when he kissed her.  She wanted nothing more then for him to rip her clothes off and make mad passionate reckless love but of course, he broke off.  Some lame excuse to get to the function on time.  That was what she felt earlier but it all changed when he confided in her about his brother and it all changed.  Everything she had grown to dislike about him, somehow miraculously disappeared and her heart reached out to him and she wanted nothing but to comfort him, share his pain.  To take care of him. Their relationship in New York was lust fueled, raw and utter madness but then of course, she started to notice the cracks.  Could she ever get past the cracks to have a more for filling relationship? What the hell was wrong with her, what if all this was just a ploy to pass time whilst he was here in London.  What if what he wanted, wasn't what she wanted, what then?  A million other questions swirled through her mind.  She was living in her fantasy world, gone away with the fairies- that had been her downfall from the beginning. She touched her stomach and suddenly couldn't breathe, she was desperate for air, for space... anywhere but here.  As she watched Liam twirling around the dance floor, she realised she couldn't stay here any longer, she had to go.

Liam spun Mrs Hillier around the dance floor until she refused another dance, it was mean of course but he was aching to be beside Millie.  He missed her, how crazy was that? He missed her and she was in the same bloody room as him.  God, he couldn't get the taste of her out of his system, nor the feel of her as he worked the ball room.  The way her dress clung to her and the skirts swayed when he spun her around his arms.  What the hell was wrong with him? You'd think he was a love struck fool by the way his thoughts were going.  As Mrs Hillier thanked him for the dance, he spun around to where Millie was sitting and realised she wasn't sitting there any longer.  She must have slipped off to the toilets again.  He would wait for her.  He was making his way to the guys, when Frieda tapped him on the shoulder.

"What's up Frieda?" he asked lazily.

"I just wanted to let you know that your girl just ran out of here and into the throng of paparazzi outside," she stated.

Liam didn't have to think twice before he shot out the way she left.