21 June 2011

Have You Ever


... Just wished you took your time in the rain?

"Yes, she is my sister," I confirm to Jack, he nods. I turn away from him, I better just cut my losses and go back in.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asks, surprised.

"Back in," I say.

"But why?" he asks puzzled, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, nothing that I don't already know," I reply, not looking up at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks touching my arm as I try to escape.

"For someone I've just met, you ask a whole lot of questions," I say, because he does and he's making me nervous.

"Well, try not to be so secretive then," he replies. He's still holding my arm and I look at him and he lets me go, "So, what is it you already know?"

I decide whether I tell the truth in it's purest form, where I disclose a part of me I have never shared with anyone else or go with another lie. Should I go with risk or stay safe in the acknowledgement that I can't be hurt. I can't decide.

"Is it so hard to open up?" he asks after a long pause.

"Yes," I reply.

"Okay, let's trade? It's only fair," he compromises but I still feel like I'm being backed into the corner. "A bit of info between us, what's said, stays between us.  Okay, let's see-I'm one of five brothers, I'm the middle child. I like spending my weekends with my grandmother, she has amazing stories from when she was digging for Victory in World War II and other things and because she refuses to go into a home for the elderly, it's my duty to take care of her. I like water sports and water theme parks, so you could say I'm a big kid." He grins.
My heart does a little flip when he talks about his grandmother, it's endearing and utterly sweet.

"So, tell me somethings about you?" he asks.

I exhale, undecided, can I really trust this bloke? What the hell, I haven't taken a risk in forever, "My sister and I have a complex relationship, by complex- she's a bitch. The last time I saw her, she broke my boyfriend and I up and stole him away from me.  She's older then me by six minutes and has always made me aware of that fact.  She's attention seeking and everyone seems to be far more interested in her, then me- so if you'll excuse my abruptness earlier, that was what that was about."
There's silence and I'm feeling like I've laid my soul bare to this complete stranger.

"Thanks for the news flash there... but I didn't really want to know about your sister" he says, "I wanted to know about you."

"Me? But I told you about me," I reply confused.

"No, your sister is a bitch- I get that, no disrespect to you but what kind of sister is she anyway.  You're much better off without her. I wanted to know something about you Frederica."

"What do you want to know?" I reply, taken aback by his words- he's the first person in a bloody long time that just doesn't give a shit about her.

"Your favourite music, your favourite things, anything... the only two things I know about you are one; your name is Frederica, which by the way is much more sexy then Fred and two; you're a baker." Jack asks patiently.

Did he just say my name is sexy, I have to tell myself to calm down before I become a pile of mush at his feet.

"I love the smell of coffee in the morning and I love long walks on the beach, even though I haven't seen the beach in a very long time. I love rock and roll music, something I've been teased about since I was a young kid and I realise how hungry I am right now," I say the last bit more for myself then to him.

He smiles, "Do you wanna grab a bite to eat?"

I'm about to reply but I'm stunned by the gale force wind and the rain showers.  It was Summer only moments ago, what's going on? We make a beeline for the front door of the exhibition and as I'm climbing the steps, I miss one and hit my head on the banister on the way down and then it's black.


I don't know how long I've been out of it, but I know that my head really hurts. As I come to, I realise there are about five faces staring down at me and I honestly feel like one of those bodies on those shows where they dissect and prod you for scientific purposes.  I wince at the light.  I can hear the mutter of voices debating on whether to take me to hospital and get checked out or to leave me lying there and get a medic instead.

"Seriously guys, stop fussing over me... I'm fine," I say to everyone within hearing distance.

"You have a bloody big bruise Fred," Charlotte points out.

"I'll live, besides people have lived with far worse," I reply, trying to get up but am only nudged back down.

"I think we need to take her to the hospital," that's Jack voice I hear saying.

"Seriously guys, I'm fine," I say again but am ignored.

"Well Frederica, you won't mind it if we bring you there for peace of mind then?" he assures me.

"I'll take her," everyone seems to chime in.

"I'll go myself, thank you very much," I say proudly.

"You're so stubborn Fred, at least one of us will take you and then take you home," I hear Toni comment.

"I'll take her," it's Jack again, "And I'll take care of her, besides Charlotte you have this exhibition and your need your mates around for support."

There's silence, just plenty of nodding. Suddenly, I'm in Jack's arms being ushered into the back of a black taxi and heading off to the hospital. He doesn't say anything to me on the ride there, just strokes my head and my arm, it's comforting and a little bit arousing, if I'm honest. I'm checked out by the doctor and am told after a few hours of waiting for the results of CT scans, that I'm fine. Just a bit of bruising to the head but it should go down in a few days. I walk to the taxi rank and get into a black taxi, Jack follows suit.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, after we settle into the back seat.

"Hungry," I reply, "You?"

"Same, you got any food in your house?" he asks.

"I don't think so," I reply.

Jack leans into the driver and says something and the taxi driver turns around.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Going to grab a takeaway and then we're heading back to yours," he smiles.

Jack orders mostly everything on the menu at Nandos and we take a taxi back to the house.  If this were another night, it would be date night but unfortunate or fortunate for me, depending on how you look at things, he comes home with me and we share the food out on the living room rug. He even paid for the taxi and the food, so really, it feels like a date night.

"Have you seen any of my sister's films?" I ask Jack, who has just popped an olive into his delectable mouth.

"Honestly, I saw one, it was the rom-com a few years back when I was with a girlfriend at the time... it was alright, typical rom-coms as they are, I'm more an action guy. How about you, you like rom-coms?" Jack leans back on his arms.

"I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't love them, they're all different just the same formula. What's your favourite film?" I ask tepidly.

"That's a very good question, just like, what's your favourite song, I can never decide- let me think," I watch as his brows furrow, "300, that's one of my favourite movies... it's a guy's movie, have you seen it? What did you think?"

"Yeah, I saw it," I say, only at the pressure of Ronan who has a complete crush on Gerald Butler, "It was a testosterone packed film, great effects though."

"Yeah, that was what I thought... how about you?"

"Me, well... that one's easy... Charlie & The Chocolate Factory... the original, not the done up version by Tim Burton, err, that's scary as hell and any kid who would have seen that, I would be surprised if they didn't have nightmares," I quip.

"You really are a foodie, aren't you?" he whispers, leaning forward.

"Foodie, as in, I just love food?" I answer his question, with another question. The conversation between us, just flows naturally.

"Yeah, not only do you have your own bakery business but you love foodie films too, it's cute," he smiles cheekily.

"Cute? Well, I've never been called cute before," I laugh to myself, more embarrassment then anything.  Cute is something you call a baby, or a dog or a fluffy toy. I am not cute. 

"You know you look beautiful when you blush like that," he says.

I look up and see that he's watching me, I look down and find the garlic bread staring back at me.

"Do you want a cup of tea or something?" I say, dusting myself off and standing up too quickly, that I almost tilt forwards, luckily, he had me in his grip and his head is literally centimeters away from mine.  His eyes are, wow. And suddenly, he's leaning towards me and I can feel his breathe and feel the enigma of his lips coming towards mine.  He touches my lips with his, his lips are as soft as petals and oh wow, he leans in closer and it's more then a fantasy but oh no... in walks Ronan and Toni and they've caught me lip locking... shortly afterwards, Jack makes his excuses and leaves and I'm left standing there like a complete lemon with two of my drunk flat mates winking at me.